23.2.08

What I think the child might say

I ain't married. But I took care of 2 boys while their mother and father work. And the boys' auntie in California is supporting them both. Not your ordinary story isn't it?

Right now, I do not really stay at home and watch them, the boys' Auntie hired two nannies one for each kid to watch over them. I sleep with them at nights and yes, they are scared at me. I don't blame them. I talk to them immediately whenever they commit mistakes.

Although there grandmother is till living with us, I doubt she will stay longer because she will have to follow the boys' auntie in the US. That would probably leave me as the primary guardian of the boys. Sooner, boys will leave me for the rightful caretaker. I would probably miss them.

I am not against any early marriages nor early pregnancy. What I am not in favor of is not facing the consequences of getting early into situations like having a baby or early marriages. I love kids either 5 or 7 or 12 or 18. I can attest to that. Ask my younger cousins about what I do to them, if you have contact with them.

Everyone getting into early marriages or pregnancy are adults. If they were innocent, they could have asked their mothers how to have sex. You may laugh at it but it's true. In short, they know what they've done and what could happen if they get pregnant. They just let go of the hard fact for the soft fact of it is enjoying sex itself. You know how weak human is when it comes to sex.

There are reasons why they get into it and like others tell me, it is none of my damn business. True again, but after which it had happened it is my damn business now. Why? I know for a reason I can not extend help financially and emotionally to the kids. Relatives or friends or I don't know them at all.

I did not write this post to go against the parents. In this post, I would like to express what I think the child might say.

1. Do you ever get to hear a child scream at night? I did. I don't have my own child but I sleep beside two nephews that screams at night. Not literally scream, but you know what happened when two boys are playing all day. Expect a kick in your face or a loud talking.

2. Do you ever get to experience a kid who is scared and would go under your armpit? I did. I still do, every night.

3. Do you ever get to experience not to move when you sleep for if you do you would fall or you can't really move because in your right is a wall and in your left is a little boy sleeping about the age of 5? I do, every night indeed.

Honestly, it brings to me so much happiness to see them trust me. I am the cousin of their mother and yet, when I tell them I love them, they would "I love you" back at me. When you call them and ask for a hug they would hug you back. Tightly and you would want to squeeze them too.

I missed that when they first left Davao. I will miss that again when they will leave me again. I know sooner they will. But these are all just my feelings. I didn't ask them what and how they feel.

If you could only put yourself into their situation. They'll grow and see how happy their friends family is and they don't do that with their dad or mom, only with me, the cousin of their mom. Plus I am not with them the whole day. It would probably be a lifetime to discuss about this but it definitely hurts. It hurts for my side for everyday I have grown to love them. But to think about it, the hurt they feel would probably be 300% more than what I feel.

There are a lot of situations like this in any part of the world. Battling child custody, the mother always win but the father always come to the rescue especially when the mother sees an opportunity for her to work again or to remarry again. Like I said, what do you think the child might say?

To honestly think deeper, there are more consequences to this when they start growing up.

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