What now (Heartbreak Poem) ?

By Edoria

I looked forward to sleep.
Sometimes I dream, and you are there.
And then
I realize,
Here's the reality of my life I've come to hate.
Careless whispers heated the coldness of my smile.
Once upon a time,
Long sexy strokes of confidence coloured my skin,
Because then,
You were there.
I don't know if I'll ever forget
How you made everything to me
Seem complete.
You were the passion underneath the harshness of those tidal waves.
They used to sink me and drown me.
And then,
You gave your breath to me,
And then
I tasted the sweet flavor of life.
Now, I need to break the intricate web,
You have woven around me.
Safety cradles me like a soft lullaby.
But then,
That was the only song I wanted to hear.
And then, you threw it away.
Bittersweet sensations,
Lingered like an unwanted scar.
You hid me far away from the painful truth,
And then
You tossed your heart high into the nighttime sky.
Far enough,
I cried because I couldn't see it.
Now, I look forward to sleep.
I can dream,
When you were there.
But like love insatiable,
You remain where memories call like haunting winds.

The end of love, the start of pain

The end of love, the start of pain
The blood from my heart that now aches, stains
With the thought of your image, the thought of you care
Devoted to another, whilst my spirit is bare
Where am I to go, where is my hope now
Am I no longer important like our dedicated vows
You promised to always be there, and love me no matter what
But it seems you’ve moved on, loved another and forgot
The breakdown of our relationship, the break of my poor heart
You punctured it with your cruel ways; you stabbed it with a dart
You took away my faith, my dreams, I now have nothing left
My happiness has disappeared; a brutal act of theft
You promised to always be there, but now it all depends
On if you’ve found another love and when my heartache ends

(Poem courtesy of www.blessedwithlove.com and the picture is courtesy of www.deviantart.com)

BATTLE'S END

My female wiles were worthless.
The good they've done me nil.
I tried with all I have in me,
But I have lost you still.

My stubbornness was useless,
For you were stubborn too.
My tears, my pleas, as if to space,
went sailing right by you.

So now, I guess that I will wait,
For time can cure my pain.
I must convince my foolish heart.
You won't be back again.

B. V. Dahlen ©

My Version of the Jerry Maguire Movie

I love him.

I do! I love him,
and I don't care what you think.

I love him for the man he wants
to be, and for the man he almost is.

I love him, Laurel. I love him .
-Dorothy Boyd

Do you love her...?
Don't tell me you don't know.
-(Jerry Maguire's friend)

I don't want her to go.
We've been hanging out a lot.
-(Jerry Maguire)

That's bullshit!
You've got to be fair to her.

She loves you. If you don't
love her, you've got to tell her
-(Jerry Maguire's friend)

What if we stay together?

What if we got married?
Would you stay?
-(Jerry Maguire)

No, don't do that. Don't say that.
Well... say it if you want to.
-Dorothy Boyd

Will you marry me?
-(Jerry Maguire)

Laurel! We're getting married.
-Dorothy Boyd

Loyalty... she was loyal.
                   
Everything... grew from there.
                   
It just... grew from there.
-(Jerry Maguire)

I jumped at your proposal
when it was still just hypothetical.

I did this, and at least
I can do something about it now.
-Dorothy Boyd

Although in the real movie of Jerry Maguire, they both end up together but with my story, we don't and we can't possibly be back with each other.

I can say I did everything to get even. I've read stories on how to turn things bad for someone who broke your heart. I know I should be hating the enemy. And these season, the holidays, birthdays coming up which I think are special, the supposed to be wedding day. Yes, men are enemies. But I have a confession to make. I love the enemy. So I would say I should just let it be.

I have to move on, I know that. I have to find someone who will tell me, I complete his life.

This will be my last post of being an "EMO" this month. I will be posting pictures that depicts my agony instead. I think I have said enough. I'll post poems, songs and anything I can find. I'll make my own designs for this feeling. I am sorry I like writing it down and since nobody in the physical world would listen to me, the internet is now my listener.

Thank you for reading.

I Am So Proud of Myself

I am so proud of myself that I was able to give love to someone. He may or not deserve such love still I am the one giving it and it is so pure. For 4 years, I am so proud to say, I never ever think of looking for another one. I am so happy I was involved with this person and it really is the nicest thing ever happened. It even lead me to the point of actually setting up the date of when is the wedding. It is both agreed and we even talked about how strong we are last Christmas.

Although it had to end, I am so proud that it happened to me. I am so proud I was able to make memories that I can keep. Memories that will somehow make me giggle when remembered.

I won't deny my feelings. I do loved him and even now, I still do love him. He will be part of me. I guess, the next great thing is finding the "right" one again. Isn't it an adventure?

Another Video from Weird Al

"The Flame" by Cheap Trick

He likes this band, well he said he does. I don't exactly know. One way of recovering for me is telling everyone what he likes or love. It is like making it all public what I consider private.

Hope you enjoy the video.

Moving on After Breaking Up

Whether you lost the feeling or not, the other side deserves a little honesty. You shouldn't dropped the bomb when you know there are issues to settle.

I know it is much easier to just let go and leave things unanswered. I would choose that too if and only if I don't really feel something for that person. But still I would give that person benefit of the doubt, because I know that person has feelings for me.

To be true, I am afraid this time will come. I would do everything to keep it. If I only knew it will come to this point, I should have let go. I choose to be blind, I choose not to trust my instincts but it is already not so smart to even go on.

Definitely, nobody won't see me crying. Not anymore.

I know it will be hard to understand my side for it will be bias. I would want this and that to happened but I am not going to be the one deciding whether or not to do this and that. I always have that moment when I would just think that what if this and that will happen, this is how it will going to flow. In this situation, since I am the one who was told about the truth, I am the one who would want the person concerned to tell me honestly. And then I would picture out how it will all flow if ever that person concerned will confess. It is always the opposite. I never get to have what I want and no matter how hard I worked hard on getting what I want, I will always end up hating the situation.

The good thing about me is that I am open minded. I try to see both sides and analyze each side that is why it is easier for me to forgive but I will never forget what happened.

I don't believe in friendship after the break up. I don't believe in such thing. I can talk to the person again but I don't think that person still deserves my time. I don't care if this is being mean or selfish or whatever you may want to call it.

Goodbyes are easier said than done. But goodbyes are good for people to stop loving each other because they love at the wrong place and wrong time.

Thanks for reading. Until my next post.

Song for the Heartbroken

This is a song in Korean with its translation in English:(Courtesy of Sarange)

Dodeche ar suga obso namjadurui maum
wonhar ten onjego da juni ije tonande
ironjog choumirago nonun thugbyorhadanun
gu marur midosso negen hengbogiosso

I just cant understand the hearts of men
they tell you they want you and then they leave you
this is the first time, you're special
I believed those words and I was so happy

marur haji guresso nega shirhojyoda go
nunchiga obnun nan nur bochegiman hesso
norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika

you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although I will curse you I'll still miss you
since I am a girl, to whom love is everything

modungor swibge da jumyon gumbang shirhjungnenunge
namjara durosso thollin mar gathjin anha
dashinun sogji anhuri maum mogo bojiman
todashi sarange munojinunge yoja ya

i heard that if you give up things too easily
to a man, he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again

marur haji guresso nega shirhojyodago
nunchiga obnun nan nur boche giman hesso
norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika

you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although I will curse you I'll still miss you
since I am a girl, to whom love is everything

[narration] Onur urin heojyosso budi hengbogharago
noboda johun sarammannagir barandago
nodo darun namjarang togathe nar saranghanda go marhanten onjego
sorjighi na nega jar doenungo shirho
naboda yepun yoja manna hengboghage jar sarmyon otohge
guroda nar jongmar ijoborimyon otohge
nan irohge himdunde himduro juggenunde
ajigdo nor nomu saranghanunde

[narration]
Hey babe
the pain
it's not enough to describe how i feel
we were so happy together
but I know now
I've been blind
you told me that you'd never let me down
whenever I needed you you'd always be here
I can forgive but I cant forget
even though you hurt me
I still love you
I still love you

sarangur wihesoramyon modun da har su inun
yojaui chaghan bonnungur iyong hajinun marajwo
hanyojaro theona sarangbadgo sanunge
irohge himdurgo oryourjur mollasso

don't take advantage of a girl's willingness to do anything for love
and her caring instinct
i didn't know that to be born as a girl and to be loved was so hard
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything

Narration (Guy, only in the music video)
There's someone I'm in love with...
Although I can't be with her now...
I'm still in love with her...