Am I Bugging You?

This is for everyone who knows me and reads my blog.

If you still don't know the game, you have to be friendly in any social networking sites to make them curious about you and then read your blog to know you better. That's the way I see it when I decided to be a blogger last May of 2007. Everyone in the blogosphere join this and that and invite their online friends to this new social networking sites to earn more friends.

I have facebook account, myspace, friendster, and twitter. These are my active accounts which means my day is not complete without logging in to these sites. There are a lot of times that I asked somebody's help on reading my blog, giving me feedbacks and all. I really appreciate that, it is one thing that I must consider to be thankful of because it makes me better.

Alongside with blogging is an opportunity to earn. Although I have to admit my first intention was just to write about something and hoping others would read it and give some comments. I have learned along that you can not just write what you feel about this and that. There has to be basis and not to write about your anger online.

So please, my dear friends both online and offline, I was just inviting you. You still have the discretion not to read my posts. I'm not bugging, let say, begging you.

Yours Truly

Tired
3 hours of sleep

Sleepless Nights

It was one of the sleepless nights.
Truly it was tiring, but just can't seem to bring myself to bed.
Scrolling up and down.
Reading this and that.

My back hurts a lot.
I was not sitting properly.
Talk to him and her.
Writing emails for him and her.

Unproductive evening.
Daydreaming doesn't work this time.
Instead watching how Heath Ledger was taken out his apartment.
Absurd.

Up again, walking to the bedroom door.
Lay down.
Stretching.
Trying to close my eyes and imagine what if I won't wake up tomorrow

Scared but really wanting not to wake up
Get up from the bed again.
Backed to my computer.
Surfed.

Indecisive
Don't know who to follow mind or body.
Body wants to sleep
Mind don't want to go

3:30 a.m. I should be in bed

This is a Funny Quiz

73%Are you an Uber-Geek? Quiz courtesy of Maytag Parts from AH Appliance Parts

Lessons on Blogging

I Digged one post of Ben Cook about lessons on blogging. It is so much true to keep your private life as private as possible. I tried to blog on my love life for the few months I have started blogging and even though it didn't backed fire at me, I am still sure it will happen if I continue on writing about it.

My personal lessons are:

1. Never be afraid to try to write on something then post it after because you will never know if you made a mistake or not.

2. There will be people who wouldn't like your blog. They will tell you negative things and all stuff that breaks your heart. In order to win the battle, don't mind them. You are not born to please everyone.

3. I know Wendy Piersall will not agree with me, but I would always try to write at least once a day. I am a rookie and I need to learn. No body in here will tell me what to do. It is better to make that mistake now than make the mistake later.

4. This is the greatest lesson, time management. You can write posts anytime but it will never be helpful in the long run. I am blogging because I wanted to earn and at the same time tell the world my thoughts. Write blog posts during those times when it is not in conflict with work, with family and with anything that is important in your life. Thou shall not write blog posts on weekends.

To end this meme, I am tagging BatangYagit, Jim, Ria, and Reyan Elena.

My Name Is....

Hi! I'm Hunee. Everyone calls me by my nickname. My real name is Princess Maye. If you don't like Hunee then call me Maye. Personally, I don't like Princess. Some associated Princess as something classy and someone on pedestal. I am not that. I like the outdoor and would eat with my hands. Sounds like yuck but this is me.

Traveling is another thing that I like. If given the chance I would like to see the whole Philippines first before I go abroad. But, if I get to think twice, I'd like to use my savings for another plan and not for travel. Through this blog, I travel from here to there. Real cheap, no accommodations, no air fare, no baggage, nothing at all. Sound fun, isn't it?

Me love spaghetti. I like my pasta to be sweet with lots of cheese. Now I'm hungry for one. Spaghetti for lunch later.

It is 5:35am in here, and yes I am wide awake ready to go to the office. Why this early? I woke up early because I have the need to check what's on the internet and right my thoughts after.

My name is Hunee. Thanks for reading!

Grazie per la lettura del mio blog.
Merci de lire mon blog.

Dumbing you Down and Down and Down

I have been to a lot of situations when I am trying to defend myself and I talk too much. I am not so sure whether I have explained it very well but because I feel I am pressured and talking, I believe, is the way to make the other understand my side. In the end, I would feel stupid at what I did.

Here's the deal. You feel you are almost caught? Well, you will be when you don't stand straight on your pajamas. Blackmail is an everyday life. It will never be eradicated, no way, no how. I know it is scary that true things will come out but what can you do about it, it is not on your hands. The person blackmailing you will do what he believes will give him what he wants to know.

Don't talk too much when you know you have not done anything. Let me say that again, you have done something but just out of curiosity. If you found a hot item then let it be don't babble about it. It does not concern you. And don't worry, you are not the only dumb in the situation. The dumbest is the blackmailer. He was just furious and he knows he has no proof about it.

Dumb people are mad. Dumb people are fools. In other words, they are the worst kind to end up with.

Disclaimer: This post is purely my own thoughts on some stupid situations that I am personally involved. If you think you are this person, think twice. Don't be dumb like me. All smiles :-)

The Negative Side of Workaholic

Let me define first what is workaholic. The word workaholic is a colloquial word coming from the word "alcoholic" which is the parent of all addictive words. Thus making the word workaholic as something negative.

According to Seth Godin, on his blog, workaholic people lives on fear. Workaholic people are not happy doing their job, they simply go to the office because they think they had to. To qoute:

It was hard to imagine someone being passionate about mining coal or scrubbing dishes. But the new face of work, at least for some people, opens up the possibility that work is the thing (much of the time) that you'd most like to do. Designing jobs like that is obviously smart. Finding one is brilliant.

The person is just compelled to do the work. Seth Godin has mentioned the other worker who is the passionate worker. By the word itself you would know what kind of worker he or she is.

Although, there are a lot of times that people associated the word workaholic in a more positive way, there are still chances of getting misunderstood. The negative side of the word is that it was coined in an era where we see -"aholic" as addictive which is negative.

I personally believe that in anything I do, I have to put my heart on it for it is an honest conduct not just for someone else to notice my conduct but being true to myself. I am the one doing it so I must be, at least, honest to the last person who will understand and respect me and that person is me, myself and I. I say, doing something out of fun is more likely to be a passionate worker than doing something for a compulsive need to work, that is a workaholic.

My Adsense is Working

I have been blogging since mid of last year. Then following some people's advices, I signed up for Google Adsense. I didn't know what to do then, so I kept on earning 0.00$ every month. Frustrated but I got the never-give-up attitude and slowly some 0.01$ coming in. A little happy with the progress.

I kept on blogging and I was even tagged as a stalker by someone who is popular but I am not sure whether it was him or not.

I got excited with the "How much is your blog worth?" by Dane Carlson because I didn't expect that for some newbie like me. I got more excited when I knew that my friend's blog is worth nothing and he has been blogging for years now. I was laughing when this other person thinks my blog was useless and hers was no worth at all. Isn't it funny.

Don't laugh at my nonsense stories. I know this is nothing compared to all you top bloggers out there. Actually, this has been a remarkable situation for me, to be able to find out that I was actually doing good at something. I thought social networking is not my thing. And that I am only good at changing friendster profile. I tried to blog my thoughts through the network's blog but I was not happy at how it ended. Some people got mad at my posts. Like I said I am the never-give-up person so I tried again.

If I would do good on this till June 2008, I'd probably buy my own site. Working on how it will look but it is still inside my projects folder.

Now my Adsense is working for me. I don't want to reveal it yet but I know sooner I will get the first check. I am not like you who are now receiving checks and most probably not that excited to get that check. Well, I am very excited and at least I can say something to myself now. And I can do something about my new hobby.

There is No Such Thing as Perfect

In my job, I could not tell whether this service that I am offering is perfect for everyone. Nor it does not assure everyone that the service given will definitely give them an easier life.

I don't believe in perfect. Most people that I knew tell me that I am a perfectionist which is really an opposite of me. Perfect is like an end. An end that you wouldn't be able to get a chance to grow and learn new things.

Just like my marketing career. If I would tell someone to buy this because this will be perfect for him, it is just the same thing as a fool for money. For if I would tell that to someone I am only after his or her money. It will not give me a chance to grow nor the product or service to improve.

If people are not perfect then how can we give perfection if the one making it is not perfect? I hope I make sense here, because me having this job is not perfect at all. I have ups and downs and it gives me sad times, bad times, and happy times.

I believe it is the circle of life that makes things go up and down. Some would like to stay on top but I prefer going up and down for it will be boring for me.

Most of the Top 30 Young Millionaires are MEN

When I made the post about young millionaires, I've found out that most on the list are men. Why is it that most geeks are men? And most male geek earn more than a female geek? Has there been a chance in history where female geeks dominate?

Ashley Qualls, of whateverlife.com, is definitely one of the young millionaires but she's on the top 25. I am sure I am not the only one who noticed that male geek dominate not just in making millions but also being featured positively in TV shows and movies. As for female geeks, there are a lot out there but they are often not featured as like men geeks are featured.

Wired has released its search on sexiest geek last December 2007, and female geeks dominate the list. Why is that?

Here's what I think. Male geeks dominate because everyone of us think that only men can do this job, like an engineering job. And now female geek dominate the sexiest geeks list because of Victoria Secret. Girls on their lingerie walking on the isle and giving some sexiness to the audience. This is what I thought, and although there are a lot of successful stories of girls making it to the top, other girls does not follow the pattern. If there are more sexy female geeks then I know in the future there will be female geeks earning millions and they will be replacing top male geek on the list.

Girls, is the a sign that we will soon be on top of the 30 young millionaires list?
Boys, do you think a female geek can be on top of the 30 young millionaires list 5 years from now?

Batang Yagit's First Vlog

He said he had a hard time. If you follow BatangYagit at Twitter you would know how hard he worked for this first vlog.

I wanted to post his first ever video blog into my blog.

Enjoy watching... :-)



More video blog to come for BatangYagit.

(I am pretty sure this kid will make it big.)

What My Name Means

You may call me Hunee, because that's my nick. My real name is Princess Maye and

What Princess Maye Means

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people. Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems. Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Alright, that's enough of me. I like the meaning, so touching. Of course, that's me. Hayyyyy....
Tagging @BatangYagit, Jim, Chattee, Langz, Margde and Ate Michelle.

My Type of Music

BatangYagit tagged me on this game. It took me a little longer to do the post, and finally I have my list of songs.

The meme goes this way

Take a screen shot of either your Top 25 Most Played / 25 Recently Played / Top Rated songs on your music device.

2. Post them on your blog and explain yourself.

3. Copy these instructions and tag 6 audiophiles to do the same thing.

So here is my response to that meme.


I love acoustic more than anything else. Of course, love songs are there to remind me of pain and happiness. Really, the sole purpose of love songs is to think about what had happened and then sleep soundly. Old music like Katie Irving, my all time favorite.

All of the songs I listen to right now are from Jack Johnson. He's just cute and I like listening to him, makes me relax. Feels like I am always at the beach making banana pancakes.

So to end this, I'm tagging Dulce, Jim, Chattee, Langz, Juliana, and Ate Michelle.

Millionaires at 30

It is nice to look at the list of young millionaires. I'd like to shout at Dulce for providing us the link.

The list of internet millionaires, all young, and full of ideas. They own the top websites too.

Here's the real deal to all that are striving to earn their first million. Some has the idea, they just don't have the resources. Some have the resources but have no idea at all. They might have the idea but they simply tweak other people's idea. It is not a bad thing though, an idea starts from another person. Maybe next time, you might have your very unique idea and at that time you might have the resources.

Internet may have a lot of things to offer, but I wonder, how come there was never a seminar on this? I meant, no seminars like this that is happening here in Davao? A seminar that tells us what to do and how to do it. I do not say, earn millions like the list of young Americans, but earn while being online. I must say, spending time over checking others friendster profile, can be an earning time for Filipinos.

What do you think?

Get Paid to Blog - Smorty

How can I earn from blogging? I spend everyday doing blogging but how can I earn and get paid to do a blog?

People asked me why I blog. And I gave them my reasons. Now getting paid to do blogging is another thing. I want to write for someone then they would pay me for that.

I bumped into this website, www.smorty.com, and I was a little hesitant at first if this company will really pay me or what. So, I tried. When I get in, your site is actually being assessed and then they gave you notifications through email if your blog site is approved. When your blog is approved they will give you a list of what you can write. You can ignore some and you can write for some. Smorty is a service connecting advertisers with bloggers. Advertisers can pay bloggers to write opinion posts with links back to the advertisers site. See how easy it is? It's blog advertising.

I always say, you spend a lot of time editing your myspace lay out and do some shout out or comments, make a one sentence paragraph and yet you are not paid to do that blog. So I thought, why not get paid to blog. Get others to join you. Blog for money.

blog advertising

My Love for Marketing

This is not the first time that I wrote about my work. It is the love month for me so I also would like to share my love for my work.

I work in a one man marketing department wherein the owner of the company is the president and my marketing supervisor. I thought, at first, I will have a hard time for I am not a 100% marketing person as compared to medical representatives that really had a good training in sales and marketing. That's what I thought, and I am 50% right and 50% wrong about my assumptions.

I love my current job. It gives me the chance to be creative, be always on the look out to new things, and I got the opportunity that was never given to a marketing assistant to any company. My boss is kind enough to introduce me to the big people in the industry. My boss is kind enough to send me to trainings and seminars.

I have grown to be a person who appreciate money and the value of it. I have grown to a person with patience for everything will come in time only when you worked hard for it. I have grown to be a person with strong willed attitude to be able to get my goals. I have grown to incorporate my personal goals with my working goals.

In anything that you do, you can never get the satisfaction when you are not happy doing it. I

Falling in Love with a Married Men

Darn! That must hurt a lot.

Of course, it will definitely hurt. WTF!

With my side, I don't have the authority to judge those who were not able to check their guys to be married or not. It is a simple answer to the question why, because when you love someone you assumed he was honest to you. That's what love is.

"My last relationship was great. Almost four years and it has to end because I found out he was married." - Anonymous

I can't blame you Ms. Anonymous. But don't regret what happened because you got to be true, you've learned something from the experience.

"He said he won't cheat. How am I supposed to believe him when he already cheated at his wife now." - Sheilah

Good for you to know that. Don't linger on it for it will be no use to you. It'll hurt more if you'll keep on remembering his promises to you.

I say, move on. Every one of us, girls, are beautiful and there is someone out there who deserves more of our love and whom we deserve as well. Will respect us and love us and care for us. Men are men, no doubt about it. There is no such thing as men are the same. Well almost everyone are doing the same thing, cheating or not cheating, because they feel that they are men when they do that. Whatever men are doing or have done, girls can't make it right for their men nor bring back the past and redo everything. Us, girls, have to accept that it happened and feel the hurt and wallow but don't make our world stop only because we fell in love with the wrong guy.

Internet Love

i turn on my pc
and i see thee

someone is there
so beautiful i swear

we talk without speaking
we know each other yet, its so decieving

time passed and i grow fond of you
in my pc i dont feel blue

as long as you're online
to me everythings just fine

i havn't seen you with my eyes
but i belive that your words aren't lies

till the day i see your face
the internet is my love's place

till the time i see your smile
i'll love you through these files

Some people say internet love isn’t real
That it doesn’t exist
That it’s just words on a screen
Some people say Internet love is a lie
That you can’t really know the person behind the words
That people are fooling themselves
Some people say internet love can’t work
Because of the distances involved
Because of trust

But
I know better then all of these people
I know internet love is real

Because
I fell in love with those words on the screen
I fell in love with someone half a world away

And I know that one day
Some day
I will hold you
Alive
And warm
And real
In my arms.

And I will never
Ever
Let you go

Because I love you.

For Teddy that I loved

This is a poem for someone dear to me. It was distance that has kept us apart. It was distance that we were not able to talk and clear things out. Here's a part of that letter.


Teddy,

It was that day
When everything around me look in dismay
I found it out through instincts
And these strong feelings led me to burst
breathing becomes a burden
Air is so hard to grasp
It was the first time to see my heart shatter
Can't seem to know where it scatter.

I've wrote your name for hundred of times
crumpled the paper and throw it out to the ground
I don't see why my heart says you still got a chance
Wondering what could be the reason
why I continued to breath on
But when I was on my knees crying
And the crumpled paper was lying
I see the words

love you

=====================

Month Love: Long Distance Relationship

I personally was in a long distance relationship and it was a great experience. Here are some that I have learned when I was in that relationship.

I'll go to the moon for you

For a couple who has been together for like months only, the feeling of getting to spend an hour with your girlfriend is like the only rush thing to do. I, for one, would like to spend an evening with my guy but he live thousand miles away from me. The first year is full of enthusiasm. I want him to spend every moment of the day with him. He talks about coming over. I ask, what if I don't show up, he would say, I'll find you. Sweet talks, sweet words and sweet smiles always kept your heart melting. This is the time that you both feel there is nothing on earth but only the two of you.

How do you define the long distance relationship?

First, I would definitely say, acknowledge the very fact that him coming over is not that easy and it needs money. Even if there is enough to buy tickets, don't ever let him come unless there is more than enough. Why? Because both of you will never enjoy the days together without money. Come on, be practical.

Second, list down what are the things needed to be able to continuously communicate with one another.

Third, understand the other side if there will be things that he or she can not do or could not buy for the moment. Especially when girl wants guy to buy camera, or new gadgets that makes distance so near.

Fourth, and the very most important of all, TRUST your partner.

Remaining faithfully yours, my love

If anyone who will get into this kind of relationship, you have to know that there can be something that will happen in between. It can either break or make the relationship stronger. Do not restrict your partner to go out. I, again, would be jealous if he went out with friends because I know he can meet someone in there.

The biggest thing to conquer is the absence of physical contact. It is dreading to think about this fact.

Let fate take its course

Be happy for the moment that there is someone out there loving you. But always stay true, if you found someone tell your partner but if you are into something big and you are sure it will hurt your lover, tell him or her too.

February: Love Month

I know it is not yet February but I am sure everyone out there is thinking what to do for their special someone.

My posts from this day till February will be all about love. Anything that is associated with love.

Leave your comments on every post.

Engrave the words "I Love You" in my Heart

Most of the time, people say "I love you" to someone special. It can be a friend, your parents or siblings, to your child or children and to your girlfriend or boyfriend. But do we know what "I love you" mean?

It is an interesting phenomena when someone starts saying "I love you" it creates sincerity, belongingness and happiness. Although, if it is said between friends it is misinterpreted and lead to confusion then heartache. The only time the meaning of "I love you" is ambiguous is when it is addressed to the person with whom you are having a romantic relationship.

Most people know what they think of "I love you" is the same thinking or meaning to the other, and this is what causes confusion. They assume that everyone else means the same thing they do, which may or may not be the case, but the assumption breeds certain expectations. In fact, "I love you" may mean just: I care about you very much; or it may mean: I want to spend the rest of my life with you; or, I'd like to know that you're available when I need you; or, I want to make love to you; or, I want to, if not own you, at least have an option on you; or any gradation in between, so what you say after you've said "I love you" is to explain what you mean by it. It doesn't matter what your particular definition is as long as both of you understand and agree upon it. The assumption that you know what other people mean when they say I love you is the major cause of heart burnings and misunderstandings in love relationships. If the other person doesn't act according to the assumptions you have as to the meaning of what was said, you feel betrayed.

Sometimes at the beginning of a relationship everything seems to be going quite well. The terms of the contract are tacitly agreed upon, the role models of girlfriends and boyfriends are close enough so that little or no conflict over them develops. Unluckily, despite what romance says, there are no relationship made in heaven, and all people change as they grow and mature. Something that is very appropriate for two people in their twenties may be absolutely impossible for the same two people at the age of thirty-five. The covenant (if in the case of marriage) may remain, but the contract needs to be renegotiated.

Personally, I like the way it was described by WikiHow.

Although many people use this powerful phrase loosely, there are times when you want to say "I love you" in a meaningful way. Whether you're professing your love to a romantic partner or expressing it to a relative or friend, it can be difficult to convey how much they really mean to you. Love reflects the intensity of how you feel. But by keeping the following suggestions in mind, hopefully your love will not only be understood, but it will also be welcomed and returned.

Here's a note for someone:

I loved you for who you are. There maybe times that we committed mistakes against each other, I have forgiven and you have forgiven me. For such time that I discover a hidden secret. You don't call it secret for you said you have told me about it. A story that was not clear to me. My heart says, I DON'T CARE.

I didn't ask the last time only because I don't want you to feel you are being manipulated and I strongly believed you need to do some of the things on your own for you to change for the better. I know that it can be the risk if I let you do things on your own. My fear is if the time will come that you will realize you can actually live in this world without me. But if that time comes and you decide to quit, I would let you go. You said that if you are not fighting for it, it is not worth having it. Letting you go is not giving up the fight. I have engraved the words "I love you" in my heart and it is only waiting for you to reply back........But, if it will keep on waiting it will fade in time.

I'd Still Say Yes

You should know by now that I still want you back.

I got hurt with it.

I handled it like it should be.

I don't care what had happened.

I'd still say yes, if you will be coming back.

Hope you are reading this.

Disclaimer

I write posts for this blog for I love to write what is on my mind. Coming from a little country, foreign people belittle me for they think I got little brain. The posts found in this blog is entirely my opinion on things. Some are reflections, and some are posts to honor a great person who look at me in the same level.

I am not here to dissatisfy whatever that is you have started. Neither it is my intention to attack you, or worst thing, stalk you. I admire a lot of people, and admiring is not bad. But to associate admiring as stalking is another thing.

I got hurt my other people's comment and was excessively happy with the others. This is what I expected to get when I decided to tell the world what this little brain can say about life.

This all about me. What I say, what I write, what I think and what I feel. This is not you nor her or him. I am the subject.

A Pocket Full of Reverie

In every time I feel down, I slide down my hands to my pocket then look straight to the ground. It is one way for me to reflect and recognize that I made mistake this time. I am off track to my priorities.

There are many times that I have met someone along the way that will become a part of my normal routine. Then I get dependent to that person. When hard times crushed my inner feelings and emotions, I broke down and cry for a moment. I savor defeat for I will welcome success in the future.

My pockets are where my dreams are. I reached to them whenever I get distracted from achieving these dreams. When I would tell people bout my dream, they would say, "It's 8 a.m., you should be awake by now." It ain't impossible for me. I do believe in myself.

Do you believe in yourself? Do you ever plan things and make you achieve that dream or goal in life?

Remembering Ashley Spencer

I don't know Ashley Spencer. I met her through twitter. She talks about her baby girl. She talks about her son. I like the way she talks about kids because I love kids.

When I first read at twitter from @acomputerpro that Ashley Spencer died of accident. I knew she was @ashPEAmama. She just gave birth.

This is one side of social networking that I love, people who doesn't care wherever they are, cared for those buddies they've met online. I love twitter community.

I will for sure miss @ashPEAmama.


http://www.photoshow.net/publish/ma6Xe4dB.swf?w=240

Goodbye My Lover

James Blunt- Goodbye my lover
Uploaded by val6210

Secrets

There are a lot of times when you are in a situation when you would want to tell the truth but it isn't the right time to tell the truth. As days would go on, you seemed to think you were alright and everything go on a straight line. There was nothing ahead on that road. You thought your secret could not be revealed. You thought your planned went so well that nobody seems to asked questions about it. But really, you just thought about it.

Honestly, if I were in that situation I would do the same. Keep the secret to myself. Told no one about it. And I would feel lonely everyday. The reason why people are here is because few of them are meant for us, to listen to us, to mentor us, to love us, and to understand us. I am sure there are a lot of these few people can do for us.

Do not underestimate the hands of God. If it is meant to be, it is meant to be. I for one would ask through prayer if this person is the right person to tell my sob stories. To tell my secrets and to tell my happiness.

I know not everyone will agree with me because you should leave some secrets to yourself. I agree to that. But a secret that is making you go down has to be told.

"Lose lips, sinks ships", only when you've said your stories to the wrong person. So how I can tell if this person is the right one? That's the power of prayer and the power to trust the person.

You know who that person is. Tell him or her. Two heads are better than one. Working by two is more fun.

What now (Heartbreak Poem) ?

By Edoria

I looked forward to sleep.
Sometimes I dream, and you are there.
And then
I realize,
Here's the reality of my life I've come to hate.
Careless whispers heated the coldness of my smile.
Once upon a time,
Long sexy strokes of confidence coloured my skin,
Because then,
You were there.
I don't know if I'll ever forget
How you made everything to me
Seem complete.
You were the passion underneath the harshness of those tidal waves.
They used to sink me and drown me.
And then,
You gave your breath to me,
And then
I tasted the sweet flavor of life.
Now, I need to break the intricate web,
You have woven around me.
Safety cradles me like a soft lullaby.
But then,
That was the only song I wanted to hear.
And then, you threw it away.
Bittersweet sensations,
Lingered like an unwanted scar.
You hid me far away from the painful truth,
And then
You tossed your heart high into the nighttime sky.
Far enough,
I cried because I couldn't see it.
Now, I look forward to sleep.
I can dream,
When you were there.
But like love insatiable,
You remain where memories call like haunting winds.

The end of love, the start of pain

The end of love, the start of pain
The blood from my heart that now aches, stains
With the thought of your image, the thought of you care
Devoted to another, whilst my spirit is bare
Where am I to go, where is my hope now
Am I no longer important like our dedicated vows
You promised to always be there, and love me no matter what
But it seems you’ve moved on, loved another and forgot
The breakdown of our relationship, the break of my poor heart
You punctured it with your cruel ways; you stabbed it with a dart
You took away my faith, my dreams, I now have nothing left
My happiness has disappeared; a brutal act of theft
You promised to always be there, but now it all depends
On if you’ve found another love and when my heartache ends

(Poem courtesy of www.blessedwithlove.com and the picture is courtesy of www.deviantart.com)

BATTLE'S END

My female wiles were worthless.
The good they've done me nil.
I tried with all I have in me,
But I have lost you still.

My stubbornness was useless,
For you were stubborn too.
My tears, my pleas, as if to space,
went sailing right by you.

So now, I guess that I will wait,
For time can cure my pain.
I must convince my foolish heart.
You won't be back again.

B. V. Dahlen ©

My Version of the Jerry Maguire Movie

I love him.

I do! I love him,
and I don't care what you think.

I love him for the man he wants
to be, and for the man he almost is.

I love him, Laurel. I love him .
-Dorothy Boyd

Do you love her...?
Don't tell me you don't know.
-(Jerry Maguire's friend)

I don't want her to go.
We've been hanging out a lot.
-(Jerry Maguire)

That's bullshit!
You've got to be fair to her.

She loves you. If you don't
love her, you've got to tell her
-(Jerry Maguire's friend)

What if we stay together?

What if we got married?
Would you stay?
-(Jerry Maguire)

No, don't do that. Don't say that.
Well... say it if you want to.
-Dorothy Boyd

Will you marry me?
-(Jerry Maguire)

Laurel! We're getting married.
-Dorothy Boyd

Loyalty... she was loyal.
                   
Everything... grew from there.
                   
It just... grew from there.
-(Jerry Maguire)

I jumped at your proposal
when it was still just hypothetical.

I did this, and at least
I can do something about it now.
-Dorothy Boyd

Although in the real movie of Jerry Maguire, they both end up together but with my story, we don't and we can't possibly be back with each other.

I can say I did everything to get even. I've read stories on how to turn things bad for someone who broke your heart. I know I should be hating the enemy. And these season, the holidays, birthdays coming up which I think are special, the supposed to be wedding day. Yes, men are enemies. But I have a confession to make. I love the enemy. So I would say I should just let it be.

I have to move on, I know that. I have to find someone who will tell me, I complete his life.

This will be my last post of being an "EMO" this month. I will be posting pictures that depicts my agony instead. I think I have said enough. I'll post poems, songs and anything I can find. I'll make my own designs for this feeling. I am sorry I like writing it down and since nobody in the physical world would listen to me, the internet is now my listener.

Thank you for reading.

I Am So Proud of Myself

I am so proud of myself that I was able to give love to someone. He may or not deserve such love still I am the one giving it and it is so pure. For 4 years, I am so proud to say, I never ever think of looking for another one. I am so happy I was involved with this person and it really is the nicest thing ever happened. It even lead me to the point of actually setting up the date of when is the wedding. It is both agreed and we even talked about how strong we are last Christmas.

Although it had to end, I am so proud that it happened to me. I am so proud I was able to make memories that I can keep. Memories that will somehow make me giggle when remembered.

I won't deny my feelings. I do loved him and even now, I still do love him. He will be part of me. I guess, the next great thing is finding the "right" one again. Isn't it an adventure?

Another Video from Weird Al

"The Flame" by Cheap Trick

He likes this band, well he said he does. I don't exactly know. One way of recovering for me is telling everyone what he likes or love. It is like making it all public what I consider private.

Hope you enjoy the video.

Moving on After Breaking Up

Whether you lost the feeling or not, the other side deserves a little honesty. You shouldn't dropped the bomb when you know there are issues to settle.

I know it is much easier to just let go and leave things unanswered. I would choose that too if and only if I don't really feel something for that person. But still I would give that person benefit of the doubt, because I know that person has feelings for me.

To be true, I am afraid this time will come. I would do everything to keep it. If I only knew it will come to this point, I should have let go. I choose to be blind, I choose not to trust my instincts but it is already not so smart to even go on.

Definitely, nobody won't see me crying. Not anymore.

I know it will be hard to understand my side for it will be bias. I would want this and that to happened but I am not going to be the one deciding whether or not to do this and that. I always have that moment when I would just think that what if this and that will happen, this is how it will going to flow. In this situation, since I am the one who was told about the truth, I am the one who would want the person concerned to tell me honestly. And then I would picture out how it will all flow if ever that person concerned will confess. It is always the opposite. I never get to have what I want and no matter how hard I worked hard on getting what I want, I will always end up hating the situation.

The good thing about me is that I am open minded. I try to see both sides and analyze each side that is why it is easier for me to forgive but I will never forget what happened.

I don't believe in friendship after the break up. I don't believe in such thing. I can talk to the person again but I don't think that person still deserves my time. I don't care if this is being mean or selfish or whatever you may want to call it.

Goodbyes are easier said than done. But goodbyes are good for people to stop loving each other because they love at the wrong place and wrong time.

Thanks for reading. Until my next post.

Song for the Heartbroken

This is a song in Korean with its translation in English:(Courtesy of Sarange)

Dodeche ar suga obso namjadurui maum
wonhar ten onjego da juni ije tonande
ironjog choumirago nonun thugbyorhadanun
gu marur midosso negen hengbogiosso

I just cant understand the hearts of men
they tell you they want you and then they leave you
this is the first time, you're special
I believed those words and I was so happy

marur haji guresso nega shirhojyoda go
nunchiga obnun nan nur bochegiman hesso
norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika

you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although I will curse you I'll still miss you
since I am a girl, to whom love is everything

modungor swibge da jumyon gumbang shirhjungnenunge
namjara durosso thollin mar gathjin anha
dashinun sogji anhuri maum mogo bojiman
todashi sarange munojinunge yoja ya

i heard that if you give up things too easily
to a man, he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again

marur haji guresso nega shirhojyodago
nunchiga obnun nan nur boche giman hesso
norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika

you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although I will curse you I'll still miss you
since I am a girl, to whom love is everything

[narration] Onur urin heojyosso budi hengbogharago
noboda johun sarammannagir barandago
nodo darun namjarang togathe nar saranghanda go marhanten onjego
sorjighi na nega jar doenungo shirho
naboda yepun yoja manna hengboghage jar sarmyon otohge
guroda nar jongmar ijoborimyon otohge
nan irohge himdunde himduro juggenunde
ajigdo nor nomu saranghanunde

[narration]
Hey babe
the pain
it's not enough to describe how i feel
we were so happy together
but I know now
I've been blind
you told me that you'd never let me down
whenever I needed you you'd always be here
I can forgive but I cant forget
even though you hurt me
I still love you
I still love you

sarangur wihesoramyon modun da har su inun
yojaui chaghan bonnungur iyong hajinun marajwo
hanyojaro theona sarangbadgo sanunge
irohge himdurgo oryourjur mollasso

don't take advantage of a girl's willingness to do anything for love
and her caring instinct
i didn't know that to be born as a girl and to be loved was so hard
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything

Narration (Guy, only in the music video)
There's someone I'm in love with...
Although I can't be with her now...
I'm still in love with her...

January Month is My Heartache Month

(Disclaimer: this post is completely my own thoughts on what is break up in relationships. It does not describe one's relationship. If for instance this post affects you, the writer does not intend it that way to happened.)


I am not going to deny that I was indeed so happy when I found out I'm having the biggest day of my life. I told everyone about it.

"If you really love her, you got to tell her"

You should have told me. You shouldn't wait that others will tell me the truth. You had me at your first hello. But I can't go on like this because I want to make it right. It is not right at all. This will never be easy for me. I miss the girl who I was with you. I will definitely miss the girl who can do a lot of things with you.

Do I deserve such treatment? I don't. Anybody can tell I don't. But who could have known the truth when it was barred and restricted. I have opened my heart more than anyone can do. It has to start with a trust but still, trust is broken with lies and misleading stories.

Do you deserve to be trusted? Definitely not. I always wonder why keeping it secret for years is needed to be done rather than utter the simple truth to the person mostly affected by it. Is it that hard? Is it much harder compared to what I feel right now?

"Loving you is always that means to me, then being happy is what I hope you can be. Then loving you must mean I have to set you free."

Give me back my heart. You know that I have been through this before and I have to go again this time. If this had happened to me before and it happened to me now, I have moved on before I will move on from now on. Even if my days will be cold and lonely.

I ain't ready.....

I thought I would be happy. After discovering the truth, I am in no position to be happy. I am a strong person and in just minutes I was able to think clearly.

Been with this before, and I am in the same situation now. I fell stupid. Stupidly in love.

I ain't ready. I got to stop. I have to or else someone else will be hurt.

I don't want to be a wrecker but this time I know what is right.

Feelings are just feelings and it will go away. I can and will move on.

Goodbye to 2007

It is always sad to say goodbye. 2007 was a great year. There were ups and downs, there were crying moments and there were the best laughs.

There were moments that I felt I was stooped down and nobody cares for what I think. I told myself, life is always this way. If no one did that to me, I wouldn't know how to step up again and regain myself. I say, they've done that only because they don't find me amusing or worthwhile.

There were others who used me for their popularity. On my end, I got hurt, but I've move on. My mind is better off something else rather think of what they've done to me. I choose my life to be public through this blog and I have to accept the consequence on putting my own personal life for the world to read.

I maybe knocked down a couple of times or even more but I've stood up back again. I know I am the victor. I am glad I have a positive attitude.

2007 was a year of laughs as well. I have a job. I am buying things for myself because I deserve it. I have opened a bank account and those are the sweat of a hard worker.

Standing up again after a fall was the greatest. Darn! I am getting good at it. I just have to be good at not to be stooped again. Again, I have the whole year of 2008 to master that.

The best and the worst of 2007.

Here's a line for me, "GROW UP!"