My Version of the Jerry Maguire Movie

I love him.

I do! I love him,
and I don't care what you think.

I love him for the man he wants
to be, and for the man he almost is.

I love him, Laurel. I love him .
-Dorothy Boyd

Do you love her...?
Don't tell me you don't know.
-(Jerry Maguire's friend)

I don't want her to go.
We've been hanging out a lot.
-(Jerry Maguire)

That's bullshit!
You've got to be fair to her.

She loves you. If you don't
love her, you've got to tell her
-(Jerry Maguire's friend)

What if we stay together?

What if we got married?
Would you stay?
-(Jerry Maguire)

No, don't do that. Don't say that.
Well... say it if you want to.
-Dorothy Boyd

Will you marry me?
-(Jerry Maguire)

Laurel! We're getting married.
-Dorothy Boyd

Loyalty... she was loyal.
                   
Everything... grew from there.
                   
It just... grew from there.
-(Jerry Maguire)

I jumped at your proposal
when it was still just hypothetical.

I did this, and at least
I can do something about it now.
-Dorothy Boyd

Although in the real movie of Jerry Maguire, they both end up together but with my story, we don't and we can't possibly be back with each other.

I can say I did everything to get even. I've read stories on how to turn things bad for someone who broke your heart. I know I should be hating the enemy. And these season, the holidays, birthdays coming up which I think are special, the supposed to be wedding day. Yes, men are enemies. But I have a confession to make. I love the enemy. So I would say I should just let it be.

I have to move on, I know that. I have to find someone who will tell me, I complete his life.

This will be my last post of being an "EMO" this month. I will be posting pictures that depicts my agony instead. I think I have said enough. I'll post poems, songs and anything I can find. I'll make my own designs for this feeling. I am sorry I like writing it down and since nobody in the physical world would listen to me, the internet is now my listener.

Thank you for reading.

I Am So Proud of Myself

I am so proud of myself that I was able to give love to someone. He may or not deserve such love still I am the one giving it and it is so pure. For 4 years, I am so proud to say, I never ever think of looking for another one. I am so happy I was involved with this person and it really is the nicest thing ever happened. It even lead me to the point of actually setting up the date of when is the wedding. It is both agreed and we even talked about how strong we are last Christmas.

Although it had to end, I am so proud that it happened to me. I am so proud I was able to make memories that I can keep. Memories that will somehow make me giggle when remembered.

I won't deny my feelings. I do loved him and even now, I still do love him. He will be part of me. I guess, the next great thing is finding the "right" one again. Isn't it an adventure?

Another Video from Weird Al

"The Flame" by Cheap Trick

He likes this band, well he said he does. I don't exactly know. One way of recovering for me is telling everyone what he likes or love. It is like making it all public what I consider private.

Hope you enjoy the video.

Moving on After Breaking Up

Whether you lost the feeling or not, the other side deserves a little honesty. You shouldn't dropped the bomb when you know there are issues to settle.

I know it is much easier to just let go and leave things unanswered. I would choose that too if and only if I don't really feel something for that person. But still I would give that person benefit of the doubt, because I know that person has feelings for me.

To be true, I am afraid this time will come. I would do everything to keep it. If I only knew it will come to this point, I should have let go. I choose to be blind, I choose not to trust my instincts but it is already not so smart to even go on.

Definitely, nobody won't see me crying. Not anymore.

I know it will be hard to understand my side for it will be bias. I would want this and that to happened but I am not going to be the one deciding whether or not to do this and that. I always have that moment when I would just think that what if this and that will happen, this is how it will going to flow. In this situation, since I am the one who was told about the truth, I am the one who would want the person concerned to tell me honestly. And then I would picture out how it will all flow if ever that person concerned will confess. It is always the opposite. I never get to have what I want and no matter how hard I worked hard on getting what I want, I will always end up hating the situation.

The good thing about me is that I am open minded. I try to see both sides and analyze each side that is why it is easier for me to forgive but I will never forget what happened.

I don't believe in friendship after the break up. I don't believe in such thing. I can talk to the person again but I don't think that person still deserves my time. I don't care if this is being mean or selfish or whatever you may want to call it.

Goodbyes are easier said than done. But goodbyes are good for people to stop loving each other because they love at the wrong place and wrong time.

Thanks for reading. Until my next post.

Song for the Heartbroken

This is a song in Korean with its translation in English:(Courtesy of Sarange)

Dodeche ar suga obso namjadurui maum
wonhar ten onjego da juni ije tonande
ironjog choumirago nonun thugbyorhadanun
gu marur midosso negen hengbogiosso

I just cant understand the hearts of men
they tell you they want you and then they leave you
this is the first time, you're special
I believed those words and I was so happy

marur haji guresso nega shirhojyoda go
nunchiga obnun nan nur bochegiman hesso
norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika

you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although I will curse you I'll still miss you
since I am a girl, to whom love is everything

modungor swibge da jumyon gumbang shirhjungnenunge
namjara durosso thollin mar gathjin anha
dashinun sogji anhuri maum mogo bojiman
todashi sarange munojinunge yoja ya

i heard that if you give up things too easily
to a man, he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again

marur haji guresso nega shirhojyodago
nunchiga obnun nan nur boche giman hesso
norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika

you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although I will curse you I'll still miss you
since I am a girl, to whom love is everything

[narration] Onur urin heojyosso budi hengbogharago
noboda johun sarammannagir barandago
nodo darun namjarang togathe nar saranghanda go marhanten onjego
sorjighi na nega jar doenungo shirho
naboda yepun yoja manna hengboghage jar sarmyon otohge
guroda nar jongmar ijoborimyon otohge
nan irohge himdunde himduro juggenunde
ajigdo nor nomu saranghanunde

[narration]
Hey babe
the pain
it's not enough to describe how i feel
we were so happy together
but I know now
I've been blind
you told me that you'd never let me down
whenever I needed you you'd always be here
I can forgive but I cant forget
even though you hurt me
I still love you
I still love you

sarangur wihesoramyon modun da har su inun
yojaui chaghan bonnungur iyong hajinun marajwo
hanyojaro theona sarangbadgo sanunge
irohge himdurgo oryourjur mollasso

don't take advantage of a girl's willingness to do anything for love
and her caring instinct
i didn't know that to be born as a girl and to be loved was so hard
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything

Narration (Guy, only in the music video)
There's someone I'm in love with...
Although I can't be with her now...
I'm still in love with her...

January Month is My Heartache Month

(Disclaimer: this post is completely my own thoughts on what is break up in relationships. It does not describe one's relationship. If for instance this post affects you, the writer does not intend it that way to happened.)


I am not going to deny that I was indeed so happy when I found out I'm having the biggest day of my life. I told everyone about it.

"If you really love her, you got to tell her"

You should have told me. You shouldn't wait that others will tell me the truth. You had me at your first hello. But I can't go on like this because I want to make it right. It is not right at all. This will never be easy for me. I miss the girl who I was with you. I will definitely miss the girl who can do a lot of things with you.

Do I deserve such treatment? I don't. Anybody can tell I don't. But who could have known the truth when it was barred and restricted. I have opened my heart more than anyone can do. It has to start with a trust but still, trust is broken with lies and misleading stories.

Do you deserve to be trusted? Definitely not. I always wonder why keeping it secret for years is needed to be done rather than utter the simple truth to the person mostly affected by it. Is it that hard? Is it much harder compared to what I feel right now?

"Loving you is always that means to me, then being happy is what I hope you can be. Then loving you must mean I have to set you free."

Give me back my heart. You know that I have been through this before and I have to go again this time. If this had happened to me before and it happened to me now, I have moved on before I will move on from now on. Even if my days will be cold and lonely.

I ain't ready.....

I thought I would be happy. After discovering the truth, I am in no position to be happy. I am a strong person and in just minutes I was able to think clearly.

Been with this before, and I am in the same situation now. I fell stupid. Stupidly in love.

I ain't ready. I got to stop. I have to or else someone else will be hurt.

I don't want to be a wrecker but this time I know what is right.

Feelings are just feelings and it will go away. I can and will move on.

Goodbye to 2007

It is always sad to say goodbye. 2007 was a great year. There were ups and downs, there were crying moments and there were the best laughs.

There were moments that I felt I was stooped down and nobody cares for what I think. I told myself, life is always this way. If no one did that to me, I wouldn't know how to step up again and regain myself. I say, they've done that only because they don't find me amusing or worthwhile.

There were others who used me for their popularity. On my end, I got hurt, but I've move on. My mind is better off something else rather think of what they've done to me. I choose my life to be public through this blog and I have to accept the consequence on putting my own personal life for the world to read.

I maybe knocked down a couple of times or even more but I've stood up back again. I know I am the victor. I am glad I have a positive attitude.

2007 was a year of laughs as well. I have a job. I am buying things for myself because I deserve it. I have opened a bank account and those are the sweat of a hard worker.

Standing up again after a fall was the greatest. Darn! I am getting good at it. I just have to be good at not to be stooped again. Again, I have the whole year of 2008 to master that.

The best and the worst of 2007.

Here's a line for me, "GROW UP!"