January Month is My Heartache Month

(Disclaimer: this post is completely my own thoughts on what is break up in relationships. It does not describe one's relationship. If for instance this post affects you, the writer does not intend it that way to happened.)

I am not going to deny that I was indeed so happy when I found out I'm having the biggest day of my life. I told everyone about it.

"If you really love her, you got to tell her"

You should have told me. You shouldn't wait that others will tell me the truth. You had me at your first hello. But I can't go on like this because I want to make it right. It is not right at all. This will never be easy for me. I miss the girl who I was with you. I will definitely miss the girl who can do a lot of things with you.

Do I deserve such treatment? I don't. Anybody can tell I don't. But who could have known the truth when it was barred and restricted. I have opened my heart more than anyone can do. It has to start with a trust but still, trust is broken with lies and misleading stories.

Do you deserve to be trusted? Definitely not. I always wonder why keeping it secret for years is needed to be done rather than utter the simple truth to the person mostly affected by it. Is it that hard? Is it much harder compared to what I feel right now?

"Loving you is always that means to me, then being happy is what I hope you can be. Then loving you must mean I have to set you free."

Give me back my heart. You know that I have been through this before and I have to go again this time. If this had happened to me before and it happened to me now, I have moved on before I will move on from now on. Even if my days will be cold and lonely.

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