Playing the Guitar

I miss playing the guitar. My dad is really good at it but he stopped because he got into an accident at Coca-Cola Botlers Phils. His ring finger was cut off because it got stucked on this machine. Dad's ok but he can no longer use three fingers of his left hand.

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I've Lost that Touch

As much as I hate to admit this but I have lost that touch of writing daily. There are a lot of reasons. Writing them down here would probably make me write a book as well of my so called balck and white life.

Life is supposed to be a journey. It is not a destination and it is not something to achieved at the end of it. In life, there can be sorrow there can be happiness. Why do I say this because I see life as a success. It is one thing that only you is driving and leading and in every little decisions that you've made a little of it will affect the lives of the common but with great affect to the people close to you or are part somehow of that big decision.

In everyday I try to disregard sorrow and try not to bring it with me for every sorrow is twice as heavy as happiness and mostly you can find it along the way. Unlike happiness, either I have to worked hard for it so that it will turn some event great and memorable and I can say made me smile and others who are on that event smile as well.

One thing why I write before is that it is my only way to communicate. Along the process, I've bumped into the idea that I might earn something from it. It's a long shot kind of earning so I still tried. On that writing was a full part of my life, my love, my family, my friends, my work and so on. And because I write things from the heart so I somehow manage people to like and comment on my posts.

I love reading again and again whatever I've posted. I love the feeling that I was able to say it and nonetheless I may have insulted someone or have hurt someone, I still get the feeling like, "Oh, Yes! I've said it." With series of not so good things happened I somehow detracted and when I read it back again, I told myself, "this is not how I write before."

I do not regret losing that touch though. I know there would be something more or something else in exchange of losing my old style of writing. My hours have to divided to number of tasks to be done in a day not including the little misunderstanding stuffs that I am into right now. I can definitely say I am beginning to be someone else better, bigger, and brighter.

I may have lost one thing but it will not stop me to go on and be someone again even if I would have to start from the beginning.

Collection

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Shot Glasses

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Iced Tea

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Reflection: Wiser Thought

I was upset yesterday. It was clearly a misunderstanding, I think, it was definitely a clash of human reactions of what they want and what they don not want. Believe me or not, it took me to think about what I should and could have learned from that until 1am. I can not believe it was that long for me to realize that it was definitely non sense.

In the Office the Next Day, July 31, 2008.

She didn't say good morning to me when she came in. Or did she? Even though I was not able to set up the interview the other day, I was able to make them come again the next day to do the interview. I was glad I was able to do it. I have big ears and it can hear people talking behind my back. Not really that I have big ears physically but as a person like me who in everyday try to put that smile on her face, greeting everyone good morning, making her day as positive as possible for she know there will be a very long day of stress and pressures. I know when someone will talk something behind my back because I have somehow had a little arguement with this person. It is human nature to find someone to listen to her rant so I know she have said something, a line or two or more about how she felt about what had happened.

I expected all that to happen. I do not really feel bad when she will talk behind my back. I do not care at all for I know I have a reason why and I have the right to be upset. If that is very "not professional" or I was disrespectful, so be it. I have said my word and I have intentionally displayed that I am upset.

My thought in all of these are; you can never really dictate somehow what to do if she is not willing to do it. No matter if it will help her and the company per se, you simply could not pre-thought that she will agree with your demands even though she have wholeheartedly expressed she will help you before. Another wiser thought on what had happened, it is a typical reaction of someone who is not a pro at interviews to react as if it was the end of the world for her. Nobody wants to see themselves on tv even if she has dreamt about being on tv a hundred times, she would not be on tv when she said she will not be on tv.

Just another thought before the day ends.

I hope older people would also adjust in all situations and would not expect the younger people to adjust all the time. Education should always be a win-win education. Two people could have learned on the process. I hope.

It's not a One Man Show

A team is never going to be a one man show. It is either a group of two or more. I just don't get it when others don't want to be part of the team and yet they have to be because in a way the company is paying them monthly so I guess they don't have choice. They've got to participate.

What happened?

A local tv reporter showed up, asking if he can interview someone who is knowledgeable enough regarding how medical transcription is done. I could have done it but I am not a medical transcriptionist, I know the industry but I have not tried doing it so I should have set it up with a real person doing the job. Let us give justice to what is being reported on tv, words should come out from the person who can give the truth on what and how medical transcription is done. I could have do it, I'm a marketing personnel I can make up stories, that's what all other people think of people in sales but I am not going to increase sales in a way that I am fooling and giving false information to possible prospects.

In any way you look at it, it's a business opportunity to increase awareness and it's free. The company won't have to spend anything on that interview. What sucks the most is that the employees running the company, who somehow promised to help this company rise is not at all cooperating. Alright, they don't like to be on tv, I respect that. Can they just think of what to answer before you eventually say what's on your mind?

Yes, this is a rant. Tomorrow this rant will change. Yes, you can answer me back but like you do, you simply just say what your first answer was not thinking that it could have helped the company progress.

A Broken Dreams

I always love to celebrate birthday. I'm a little wiser now that I don't literally celebrate birthday with cakes and all stuff but when it comes to kids ages 5-8 or even 9 yrs old, they would really love those stuff.

I always have a birthday party when Mom was still alive. I stopped having one when she was gone. The last party was my 18th birthday and until now, I still considered it as a sham since Mom was not really there and she died the same year. Before all that realization even happened, I always wanted to have my birthday debut. Who would not want a birthday debut when they reached 18. Since Mom died the same year, I thought I should not had one birthday debut.

I can't go back to that, I have to moved on so I did moved on forgetting all those things. It just so happened that my little nephew celebrated his 8th birthday and all things came back to me again especially when I saw from a child's eye that his parents should be here on his birthday.

It is a very complicated situation. It even got more complicated when both parties pride are prevalent than their supposed to be caring feelings of a proud parents. I personally don't like it at all. The father's side saying he's borrowing the kids for some birthday party. I know I have shown some pride on that situation too but somehow I may say I got the right to show my pride for I was there when the birthday kid was sick, when I have to wake up to get their food ready in the morning, when I need to hug them and kiss them so they will not feel nobody loves them for basically both of the parents are not around.

I do not say I am the only one at this, as for the moment, there are help from the birthday kid's grandmother, two hired nanny for each of the boys. I am trying to make things simplified, and the fact to that complexity is that the boy has a mother and a father. That's it. The concerned who are supposed to be oblige to do the obligations and responsibilities are more concern on fighting and exchange unsolicited opinions when it don't matter for the moment.

Yes, you have to angry and mad at each other for you've committed something that had hurt the others' feelings but what's the point with fighting when we all know each year the boy turned a year older and sooner will understand what's going on? What do you expect me to answer to him when he ask, why is it that my classmates' mom and dad are here and I only have my mother's cousin to check on me?

My point is, times like these everyone should not waste time on letting out what is solely for the good of one but for the good of everyone. I know for one, if I get to decide to leave the house because I know I am not oblige to take care of the boys but if I do that, I would hurt the boys feelings and most probably they would feel nobody really loves them. I don't care if I have spent so much or so little for the boys what matter is that they won't feel that the world hated them or the one that should be showing love hated them.

Can't we all just put all hurt feelings aside and let the boys have a brighter future? What is broken will forever be broken but don't include what's for the kids.

I Want You Back

It is always a great feeling to be in love to somebody. In a relationship nowadays, it is hard to find someone who loves you and someone whom you love as well. Rarely, I see people in that situation. Some guys would really pursue the girls of their dreams and doesn't care if the girl either love them back or simply like them. I do not say that I know how to tell or when to tell that both are in love with each other or not.

It is a happy feeling to talk to your love one, even a single hi and hello would make you smile. I loved that feeling and I missed that feeling. I do not intend to make a relationship perfect, there will always be something that will most likely test both of you. Definitely hard to be in a water where you have to decide, move on or forget about it.

There are no relationships that are the same. I know for one for I couldn't find any similarity on my past relationship. Although, I am really attracted to give the last relationship I had another chance. I just have so many questions still. I also find myself demand things from him that I know he's not ready to give.

All these can somehow be what you felt. These are what I feel right now. Should I give in and what, eat my pride? Should I just let it be and look for someone else? In all of these things, I have learned to love myself more and even know myself more. I like it when I know that I am becoming more mature person. Although part of that growing is somehow changing my attitudes. I can't seem to find control in choosing my reactions especially when I get to talk to my ex. I am more of a grumpy person that I am a sweet girl to my ex. I'd love to be the same person to him but I don't want to give him the impression that I am willing to go back with him. I also have my pride and part of that pride is to make sure I won't be hurt again. I got to love the person whoever he is, yes I can do that, I simply can't give love if that person doesn't give love to himself as well. If you were the guy, you should be more stronger than the girl. That would include the fact that when you have to decide on something, make a stand and it don't matter if you are wrong or right on that decision you just have to make that stand and don't leave it all up to the power of nature or fate.

If you let "all up to you" phrases to lead your life, there wouldn't be nowhere to go to. There wouldn't be any progress and plus, guys should be strong for the relationship, and the girl should lead a relationship. This is in my opinion, you might want to react on this opinion. But it doesn't stop there, for some of the times it can be vice versa. It all depends on what you both are into. I think this is how things should be because you both love each other. This is how things should be because you both believe in each other and part of that believing is again loving each other.

You don't actually need to change, because if you were true to what you say, it will show through your actions. If you say, you'd say it all from the heart then don't answer back with "all up to you" because it is not from your heart. You'd say that only because you don't want to hurt the other party. You'd say that because you are afraid. You just have to take that risk, I definitely have decided to take that risk but it doesn't seem to be going forward. Giving lines that somehow tells what I wanted to say but it you just can't read what's between the lines because you are too busy thinking "I might hurt her again."

Getting hurt is part of everything. You can't take that out. If you don't want to hurt someone tell the truth. There's nothing wrong with telling the truth. It is a lighter feeling to tell the truth rather than to delay telling the truth. If you want to suspend telling the truth, there are a greater chances the other party would know, and would know the truth from another channel. Relationships is run by both party not by the guy or the girl.