10.3.08
Pot of Flower as the Ashtray
Nature is beautiful, but it is what we do to them that makes them ugly.
6.3.08
Lessons 101
(Response to my very own post, "Hard work Wasted")
In a day to day basis, we prepare for things that we plan to do. Although, not all the times we prepare to for what might happen to us. In my case, I have done so much to make it happen but the person above my hierarchy, I don't know whether he forgot to tell me or not, made the whole thing blast without any piece of hard work left. I was devastated. Seriously. I felt betrayed. Not only I have the chance to meet and mingle with society, that's because that is my job. I also have the chance to make them believe that what I was telling them is legal and can be used for future purposes. It is legal but it can't be used for future purposes. It can only be used for you to be competitive in the art of coding.
My heartfelt thanks to this person who made me feel human again. Why? I thank him because if not for the experience I could have experience a bigger explosion in my future endeavors. Life indeed can be a surprise. I thought I had it in control but still it tells me I don't hold everything. I may think that everything will go smoothly.
In a day to day basis, we prepare for things that we plan to do. Although, not all the times we prepare to for what might happen to us. In my case, I have done so much to make it happen but the person above my hierarchy, I don't know whether he forgot to tell me or not, made the whole thing blast without any piece of hard work left. I was devastated. Seriously. I felt betrayed. Not only I have the chance to meet and mingle with society, that's because that is my job. I also have the chance to make them believe that what I was telling them is legal and can be used for future purposes. It is legal but it can't be used for future purposes. It can only be used for you to be competitive in the art of coding.
My heartfelt thanks to this person who made me feel human again. Why? I thank him because if not for the experience I could have experience a bigger explosion in my future endeavors. Life indeed can be a surprise. I thought I had it in control but still it tells me I don't hold everything. I may think that everything will go smoothly.
28.2.08
Hardwork WASTED
"I was cranky since yesterday. I had this feeling that something will come up. I just don't want to lose my momentum for the Saturday's event.
I was born with adversities in life, and I was able to conquer all that because I had been the hard worker nobody would think of. I see life as a challenge that needs to be conquered through hard work and dedication. Although, there had been times that I was thrown to the mud, I stood up and walk again going through the same process with a brave heart that I will soon pass the bridge of uncertainty. Once on the other end, I felt successful no matter others may call me a fool.
So much with the belief that I can do it, I put myself at the bottom, giving others the recognition that I should have. I don't want them to tell me good job because it will distract me to my purpose. A purpose not on getting achievements in paper but achievement that when I am gone, others will think of the little ways I have done for them. I certainly do not want to do things for myself alone, but would like to do it with others who are somehow will benefit in what I do.
Yes, I call myself a hero. But a hero with no name. You can laugh, you can say something cruel, but you can never bring me down. That's me. The real me.
In my past years, I have grown to be someone with courage and pessimistic with all the things I do. Most of the times, I get scared because I know I am human. And if I am down, I blame entirely the me who decides and do what I think should be done. This time its different.
I worked hard on getting things run smoothly as possible. Ask the questions I needed to ask. The real deal is, I do not have enough knowledge what I am into but with trust to the people who are with me all the way, acknowledging that they have graduated in such prestigious schools with a lot of recognition. I put my name in front, for they need me to step forward and do the guerrilla work. I have placed my entire identify by talking to people one by one. People look me in the eye, trying to see something that may mean that I lied to them. I straighten my face with honesty and truthfulness that what I am saying is true.
I've set aside other responsibilities. Then, the day to reckon for the whole year, has come.
Two days before the event, a call was answered. Good thing I was the answering machine, saying the same line over and over again. A call that made my heart beat faster and my mind was saying, I knew this would happen. I did my best to make amends. I told myself to calm down, it will push through. I stayed focus and alert. I waited.
After telling my superior what happened, my superior said it is over. My heart devastated. I can feel the pain in my shoulders now. I can feel my mind explode. A tear rolled down my eye, Saturday's event is canceled.
From the first day I put my heart into the project and now I know it is needed to packed and kept hidden. Now I asked, what could have gone wrong? How come I didn't know about this? Did I forget to ask this?
I wanted to take all the blame but it can't be. I have done my part and it is quite obvious the other party did not. Only because of some assumptions, the other party thought it is not important to discuss. My hard work, my face, my words, proved to be all wrong. I was the guerrilla, not them. I was the one in contact, not them. I was the one who has back pains, not them.
It is a wasted effort. No pain, no gain.
(Will reflect on the subject more and soon I will write posts again)
I was born with adversities in life, and I was able to conquer all that because I had been the hard worker nobody would think of. I see life as a challenge that needs to be conquered through hard work and dedication. Although, there had been times that I was thrown to the mud, I stood up and walk again going through the same process with a brave heart that I will soon pass the bridge of uncertainty. Once on the other end, I felt successful no matter others may call me a fool.
So much with the belief that I can do it, I put myself at the bottom, giving others the recognition that I should have. I don't want them to tell me good job because it will distract me to my purpose. A purpose not on getting achievements in paper but achievement that when I am gone, others will think of the little ways I have done for them. I certainly do not want to do things for myself alone, but would like to do it with others who are somehow will benefit in what I do.
Yes, I call myself a hero. But a hero with no name. You can laugh, you can say something cruel, but you can never bring me down. That's me. The real me.
In my past years, I have grown to be someone with courage and pessimistic with all the things I do. Most of the times, I get scared because I know I am human. And if I am down, I blame entirely the me who decides and do what I think should be done. This time its different.
I worked hard on getting things run smoothly as possible. Ask the questions I needed to ask. The real deal is, I do not have enough knowledge what I am into but with trust to the people who are with me all the way, acknowledging that they have graduated in such prestigious schools with a lot of recognition. I put my name in front, for they need me to step forward and do the guerrilla work. I have placed my entire identify by talking to people one by one. People look me in the eye, trying to see something that may mean that I lied to them. I straighten my face with honesty and truthfulness that what I am saying is true.
I've set aside other responsibilities. Then, the day to reckon for the whole year, has come.
Two days before the event, a call was answered. Good thing I was the answering machine, saying the same line over and over again. A call that made my heart beat faster and my mind was saying, I knew this would happen. I did my best to make amends. I told myself to calm down, it will push through. I stayed focus and alert. I waited.
After telling my superior what happened, my superior said it is over. My heart devastated. I can feel the pain in my shoulders now. I can feel my mind explode. A tear rolled down my eye, Saturday's event is canceled.
From the first day I put my heart into the project and now I know it is needed to packed and kept hidden. Now I asked, what could have gone wrong? How come I didn't know about this? Did I forget to ask this?
I wanted to take all the blame but it can't be. I have done my part and it is quite obvious the other party did not. Only because of some assumptions, the other party thought it is not important to discuss. My hard work, my face, my words, proved to be all wrong. I was the guerrilla, not them. I was the one in contact, not them. I was the one who has back pains, not them.
It is a wasted effort. No pain, no gain.
(Will reflect on the subject more and soon I will write posts again)
26.2.08
Quotes on Love
"I think God brought together two people from the opposite sides of the world from two completely different cultures, two different ways of life, two different languages, he blessed it, and he put us together, gave us a love that's strong and let us be happy."
— Robert, a U.S. Army soldier who married an Iraqi woman named Vivian
Loving is not about race, age, physical looks and etc. Loving someone is completely accepting each others looks, habit (good or bad) and I guess all of the above.
I see trees of green........ red roses too
I see em bloom..... for me and for you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world
Loving is not about race, age, physical looks and etc. Loving someone is completely accepting each others looks, habit (good or bad) and I guess all of the above.
I see trees of green........ red roses too
I see em bloom..... for me and for you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world
Change your style
Businesses need to change its headline stories into something believable again. No, honest businesses don't make up stories. I call this innovation. It is like changing clothes everyday.
Whenever there is a new building located at the main street, 95% of the passers by get curios. So they come in and ask. Maybe some will spend a penny to try what's this new product is all about or what's this new service offered.
Few months after, people will forget what you have told them. Thus this mean the business has to close down too? It will if it will not change its style.
Honestly, that's the hardest part for me as a marketing assistant. I have to think of how to change the stories. Changing in a sense that this had happened and yet was neglected and it needs to be told now or else I wouldn't be able to help the company I am to grow.
Whenever there is a new building located at the main street, 95% of the passers by get curios. So they come in and ask. Maybe some will spend a penny to try what's this new product is all about or what's this new service offered.
Few months after, people will forget what you have told them. Thus this mean the business has to close down too? It will if it will not change its style.
Honestly, that's the hardest part for me as a marketing assistant. I have to think of how to change the stories. Changing in a sense that this had happened and yet was neglected and it needs to be told now or else I wouldn't be able to help the company I am to grow.
23.2.08
What I think the child might say
I ain't married. But I took care of 2 boys while their mother and father work. And the boys' auntie in California is supporting them both. Not your ordinary story isn't it?
Right now, I do not really stay at home and watch them, the boys' Auntie hired two nannies one for each kid to watch over them. I sleep with them at nights and yes, they are scared at me. I don't blame them. I talk to them immediately whenever they commit mistakes.
Although there grandmother is till living with us, I doubt she will stay longer because she will have to follow the boys' auntie in the US. That would probably leave me as the primary guardian of the boys. Sooner, boys will leave me for the rightful caretaker. I would probably miss them.
I am not against any early marriages nor early pregnancy. What I am not in favor of is not facing the consequences of getting early into situations like having a baby or early marriages. I love kids either 5 or 7 or 12 or 18. I can attest to that. Ask my younger cousins about what I do to them, if you have contact with them.
Everyone getting into early marriages or pregnancy are adults. If they were innocent, they could have asked their mothers how to have sex. You may laugh at it but it's true. In short, they know what they've done and what could happen if they get pregnant. They just let go of the hard fact for the soft fact of it is enjoying sex itself. You know how weak human is when it comes to sex.
There are reasons why they get into it and like others tell me, it is none of my damn business. True again, but after which it had happened it is my damn business now. Why? I know for a reason I can not extend help financially and emotionally to the kids. Relatives or friends or I don't know them at all.
I did not write this post to go against the parents. In this post, I would like to express what I think the child might say.
1. Do you ever get to hear a child scream at night? I did. I don't have my own child but I sleep beside two nephews that screams at night. Not literally scream, but you know what happened when two boys are playing all day. Expect a kick in your face or a loud talking.
2. Do you ever get to experience a kid who is scared and would go under your armpit? I did. I still do, every night.
3. Do you ever get to experience not to move when you sleep for if you do you would fall or you can't really move because in your right is a wall and in your left is a little boy sleeping about the age of 5? I do, every night indeed.
Honestly, it brings to me so much happiness to see them trust me. I am the cousin of their mother and yet, when I tell them I love them, they would "I love you" back at me. When you call them and ask for a hug they would hug you back. Tightly and you would want to squeeze them too.
I missed that when they first left Davao. I will miss that again when they will leave me again. I know sooner they will. But these are all just my feelings. I didn't ask them what and how they feel.
If you could only put yourself into their situation. They'll grow and see how happy their friends family is and they don't do that with their dad or mom, only with me, the cousin of their mom. Plus I am not with them the whole day. It would probably be a lifetime to discuss about this but it definitely hurts. It hurts for my side for everyday I have grown to love them. But to think about it, the hurt they feel would probably be 300% more than what I feel.
There are a lot of situations like this in any part of the world. Battling child custody, the mother always win but the father always come to the rescue especially when the mother sees an opportunity for her to work again or to remarry again. Like I said, what do you think the child might say?
To honestly think deeper, there are more consequences to this when they start growing up.
Right now, I do not really stay at home and watch them, the boys' Auntie hired two nannies one for each kid to watch over them. I sleep with them at nights and yes, they are scared at me. I don't blame them. I talk to them immediately whenever they commit mistakes.
Although there grandmother is till living with us, I doubt she will stay longer because she will have to follow the boys' auntie in the US. That would probably leave me as the primary guardian of the boys. Sooner, boys will leave me for the rightful caretaker. I would probably miss them.
I am not against any early marriages nor early pregnancy. What I am not in favor of is not facing the consequences of getting early into situations like having a baby or early marriages. I love kids either 5 or 7 or 12 or 18. I can attest to that. Ask my younger cousins about what I do to them, if you have contact with them.
Everyone getting into early marriages or pregnancy are adults. If they were innocent, they could have asked their mothers how to have sex. You may laugh at it but it's true. In short, they know what they've done and what could happen if they get pregnant. They just let go of the hard fact for the soft fact of it is enjoying sex itself. You know how weak human is when it comes to sex.
There are reasons why they get into it and like others tell me, it is none of my damn business. True again, but after which it had happened it is my damn business now. Why? I know for a reason I can not extend help financially and emotionally to the kids. Relatives or friends or I don't know them at all.
I did not write this post to go against the parents. In this post, I would like to express what I think the child might say.
1. Do you ever get to hear a child scream at night? I did. I don't have my own child but I sleep beside two nephews that screams at night. Not literally scream, but you know what happened when two boys are playing all day. Expect a kick in your face or a loud talking.
2. Do you ever get to experience a kid who is scared and would go under your armpit? I did. I still do, every night.
3. Do you ever get to experience not to move when you sleep for if you do you would fall or you can't really move because in your right is a wall and in your left is a little boy sleeping about the age of 5? I do, every night indeed.
Honestly, it brings to me so much happiness to see them trust me. I am the cousin of their mother and yet, when I tell them I love them, they would "I love you" back at me. When you call them and ask for a hug they would hug you back. Tightly and you would want to squeeze them too.
I missed that when they first left Davao. I will miss that again when they will leave me again. I know sooner they will. But these are all just my feelings. I didn't ask them what and how they feel.
If you could only put yourself into their situation. They'll grow and see how happy their friends family is and they don't do that with their dad or mom, only with me, the cousin of their mom. Plus I am not with them the whole day. It would probably be a lifetime to discuss about this but it definitely hurts. It hurts for my side for everyday I have grown to love them. But to think about it, the hurt they feel would probably be 300% more than what I feel.
There are a lot of situations like this in any part of the world. Battling child custody, the mother always win but the father always come to the rescue especially when the mother sees an opportunity for her to work again or to remarry again. Like I said, what do you think the child might say?
To honestly think deeper, there are more consequences to this when they start growing up.
22.2.08
Imagine There's No Heaven
My Dad's favorite band, The Beatles, where John Lennon was a member and sang this song titled "Imagine". I was listening to this song last night after a talk over twitter with Jesse, a.k.a @jesatiu. We exchange thoughts on some violence not stressing on which violence, emotional, physical, et.al.
I was thinking, literally imagining, what would happen if the song would be for real?
I was thinking, literally imagining, what would happen if the song would be for real?
Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
This is what we want right? We hate the government, we hate our neighbors, we wished there'd be no more killings or sufferings, and etc.
I am not trying to interpret what the meaning of the song is and I maybe wrong with the way I understand it. I think the song is telling me that I am not perfect. I wanted peace but I can not have peace for I am not at peace with my inner self, my surroundings, with the people close to me. I wanted to share the world but what makes me human is that I am being selective with what I try to share. No one in here can absolutely share 100% of his or her self to others because we got our very own responsibility as a parent to a child, a child to his or her parents, as a brother and as a sister. Not unless you are Jesus. (to the religious, sorry I do not intend to use the name of the Lord here. Just trying to make a point.)
Again, the song is trying to tell us that in giving a little of what we have should be given wholeheartedly. And since we can only do so little that we are all encourage to give what is the best that we can give and when everything is added starting from what I give, to what you give, to what others can give makes up a bigger deed that will be greatly appreciated by those who are given. Violence will never stop unless we don't cure the core of it's problem. It is not even a problem anymore, it is one kind of disease that has been with us for a long time.
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world
I am not trying to interpret what the meaning of the song is and I maybe wrong with the way I understand it. I think the song is telling me that I am not perfect. I wanted peace but I can not have peace for I am not at peace with my inner self, my surroundings, with the people close to me. I wanted to share the world but what makes me human is that I am being selective with what I try to share. No one in here can absolutely share 100% of his or her self to others because we got our very own responsibility as a parent to a child, a child to his or her parents, as a brother and as a sister. Not unless you are Jesus. (to the religious, sorry I do not intend to use the name of the Lord here. Just trying to make a point.)
Again, the song is trying to tell us that in giving a little of what we have should be given wholeheartedly. And since we can only do so little that we are all encourage to give what is the best that we can give and when everything is added starting from what I give, to what you give, to what others can give makes up a bigger deed that will be greatly appreciated by those who are given. Violence will never stop unless we don't cure the core of it's problem. It is not even a problem anymore, it is one kind of disease that has been with us for a long time.
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one
I can not absolutely say this will be achieved in time but how can this be started when no one will make a stand.
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