I feel alive again....
I would like to..
Do I have to ask?
Is it gonna be a yes?
Or should I wait for *** to ask...
** said it's easier to ask now...
Do I have to wait?
Is it gonna be right to be involve again after the heartache?
Do I have to care about the past?
It is the past so I dumped it..
The battle of my heart and mind
increasing heart's beat to vanish doubting thoughts
struggling what should be done first
can't move, would want to move
sunshine it is
but there's sunset
and so the body rest for awhile
but the heart keeps on beating
while the mind is at rest
I am happy but am still afraid to ask
should I ask or should I give it awhile...
breaking the heart is easy
but giving the heart again is hard
would you dance with me?
or should I say it relentlessly..
and honestly
Maybe later
Not now for sure
later is better..
who should I choose?
that one
this one
or the another one
can't make up yet
I like this one
I like that one too
not the other one for **'s no longer free
this one is vocal
that one is not even sure what **'s feelings are
should I follow my heart?
or I should give time?
for I need time as well..
19.2.08
16.2.08
Precious Friendship
Me and my college buddies never get tired of talking again and again the foolishness during college days.
If we do hang out together, we will probably stay at a coffee shop or someplace to eat and just talk.
I hope the group will last for a lifetime.
If we do hang out together, we will probably stay at a coffee shop or someplace to eat and just talk.
I hope the group will last for a lifetime.
Gratitude
My cousin, Achi Michelle, posted her very own words about gratitude. Now, here's what I say about gratitude.
Often people, when faced with too much luck, they talk about gratitude to almost everyone who has helped them for it truly made them better. Then stop saying thank you after a while, I must say they have said it why would you have to say it again.
Gratitude does not end with saying thank you. It does not end by merely saying it out loud but with how you will react it after saying thank you. It is easier said than done. Amazing it is to see one saying thank you after helping him and then turns his back on you and after a day or two that person does not even know what you have done to him.
I would like to say thank you to the following:
1. God
2. Mom
3. Dad
4. Siblings
5. Mamu
6. Cousins
7. Friends (Gaburongza, Boink, Chat, Daisy, Mitch)
8. New found friends online (Shawn, Jesse, Amanda)
Often people, when faced with too much luck, they talk about gratitude to almost everyone who has helped them for it truly made them better. Then stop saying thank you after a while, I must say they have said it why would you have to say it again.
Gratitude does not end with saying thank you. It does not end by merely saying it out loud but with how you will react it after saying thank you. It is easier said than done. Amazing it is to see one saying thank you after helping him and then turns his back on you and after a day or two that person does not even know what you have done to him.
I would like to say thank you to the following:
1. God
2. Mom
3. Dad
4. Siblings
5. Mamu
6. Cousins
7. Friends (Gaburongza, Boink, Chat, Daisy, Mitch)
8. New found friends online (Shawn, Jesse, Amanda)
15.2.08
Bless the Broken Road
My twitter buddy, @jesatiu, gave me this song.
Apparently, it made me cry. Indeed God bless the broken road, but right now, with what has been done, northern star no longer leads me back to you. Northern star might have someone else for me and I am quite excited to see that. I'm all open arms now. I welcome anybody who would boldly would ask me to dance.
I like that beat of the heart when you don't know what's next to one thing but you are sure this and that will happen only because you have seen it in the eyes of that person. Of course, you would know if he don't like you.
This is the part that I like for it is not just applicable to any broken hearted but it is actually for anything that you feel right now. You wouldn't be happy now if you were not sad yesterday. Or you wouldn't be who you are now if nobody stooped you down before. Or you wouldn't be stronger now if you weren't dumped yesterday.
It simply says, there is far more better man for me. Could it be you? (hmmmm.....)
Apparently, it made me cry. Indeed God bless the broken road, but right now, with what has been done, northern star no longer leads me back to you. Northern star might have someone else for me and I am quite excited to see that. I'm all open arms now. I welcome anybody who would boldly would ask me to dance.
I like that beat of the heart when you don't know what's next to one thing but you are sure this and that will happen only because you have seen it in the eyes of that person. Of course, you would know if he don't like you.
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
This is the part that I like for it is not just applicable to any broken hearted but it is actually for anything that you feel right now. You wouldn't be happy now if you were not sad yesterday. Or you wouldn't be who you are now if nobody stooped you down before. Or you wouldn't be stronger now if you weren't dumped yesterday.
It simply says, there is far more better man for me. Could it be you? (hmmmm.....)
Ponkans from Jim
Ponkans, ponkans, ponkans
Don't want to eat them just stare at them.
Thanks Doc for the pictures.
This is Dr. Jim Haw. Picture taken at Basti's Brew14.2.08
5 Things I have Learned about Love
It is that time of the year where LOVE is the main subject thus giving people smiles and blushes the whole day. Long kisses and sex later at night. Yes, it is Valentine's Day, the day of love for the whole world.
How many times have you fallen in and out of love? For me, I have fallen a couple of times. Fallen out of love a couple times as well. Reading a lot of fairy tales made me think of what an ideal man for me. But I was hurt by my past experience, it got me to thinking that loving someone or giving love to someone aren't taught in books or any thing that is written but they are found by really letting yourself fall in love and fall out of love and be hurt.
I am pretty sure you will not agree with me and you could say your mother knows better, but the nuggets of these learnings are taken from the act of an individual to be involve, in love, with another person.
Here are some things I personally learned from falling in love.
1. Always communicate. Never miss a day without telling the person you love what you feel about him or her. Take the initiative to get the ball rolling.
2. Negative thoughts about him or her always brings your relationship down. It is natural for a person to react but contain your emotions. It is a better way to start talking.
3. Enjoy each others company. If you don't enjoy the moments that you are together, it will be a boring relationship.
4. Money brings happiness so does it creates a big problem. Learn to share. Do pay some of the expenses especially when you are watching movies.
5. Kiss and saying I love you. If you don't love the person then why do want to get near him or her? Why do you always call him or her? Why do you want to his or her company?
I know it hurts a lot when you tried your best and broke up in the end. It is better to have loved than not to have loved at all.
How many times have you fallen in and out of love? For me, I have fallen a couple of times. Fallen out of love a couple times as well. Reading a lot of fairy tales made me think of what an ideal man for me. But I was hurt by my past experience, it got me to thinking that loving someone or giving love to someone aren't taught in books or any thing that is written but they are found by really letting yourself fall in love and fall out of love and be hurt.
I am pretty sure you will not agree with me and you could say your mother knows better, but the nuggets of these learnings are taken from the act of an individual to be involve, in love, with another person.
Here are some things I personally learned from falling in love.
1. Always communicate. Never miss a day without telling the person you love what you feel about him or her. Take the initiative to get the ball rolling.
2. Negative thoughts about him or her always brings your relationship down. It is natural for a person to react but contain your emotions. It is a better way to start talking.
3. Enjoy each others company. If you don't enjoy the moments that you are together, it will be a boring relationship.
4. Money brings happiness so does it creates a big problem. Learn to share. Do pay some of the expenses especially when you are watching movies.
5. Kiss and saying I love you. If you don't love the person then why do want to get near him or her? Why do you always call him or her? Why do you want to his or her company?
I know it hurts a lot when you tried your best and broke up in the end. It is better to have loved than not to have loved at all.
13.2.08
They've asked me, "Why do you smile always?"
In the first 15 years of my life, I am the snob type of person. I thought my family is ok and we are surviving even more than the average family that lived in this small country. Contrary to my beliefs, my parents are both working for my future as well as three other siblings in my family. I was enrolled to a private school in my grade school years and in a all girls school in high school years. Being in the crowd of people who's family really deserve to be called rich, I consider my family as one of them. But my family is better for Dad will be home during dinner and Mom would make breakfast and dinner for all of us. We would be all seated on the table when 7am or 7pm strikes. No one explained to me the real situation, maybe because I am still young. I will soon be graduating in high school when I found out that life was the other side of the coin. Both parents worked hard because they got to be and to be able to feed us all four.
When Mom decided to work abroad, leaving me, the eldest to lead and start doing what she has been doing as a mother. Few months after, she died. I woke up from the truth. And I've realized that it is not too late for me to win the game of life.
I was once knocked down but I will try not to be knocked down again. I will try to discover what the other side of life has for me. I live my life like a coin. I maybe seeing one side of the coin, but I would not like to pass on what the other side of the coin has for me. It can be good or bad but I know, neither of them sides are all bad or good. I maybe in a bad situation now, that only means the other side is good so it gives me a chance to make better my situation and that gives me smiles on my face.
They've asked me, "Why do you smile always?"
I said, " I smile always because if I would let myself frown it only means I'm defeated." Life, like they always say it, is a challenge. And challenges are battles to win. Smiling is actually one way of intimidating life.
When Mom decided to work abroad, leaving me, the eldest to lead and start doing what she has been doing as a mother. Few months after, she died. I woke up from the truth. And I've realized that it is not too late for me to win the game of life.
I was once knocked down but I will try not to be knocked down again. I will try to discover what the other side of life has for me. I live my life like a coin. I maybe seeing one side of the coin, but I would not like to pass on what the other side of the coin has for me. It can be good or bad but I know, neither of them sides are all bad or good. I maybe in a bad situation now, that only means the other side is good so it gives me a chance to make better my situation and that gives me smiles on my face.
They've asked me, "Why do you smile always?"
I said, " I smile always because if I would let myself frown it only means I'm defeated." Life, like they always say it, is a challenge. And challenges are battles to win. Smiling is actually one way of intimidating life.
Smile tho' your heart is aching,
Smile even tho' it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by,
If you smile
thro' your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shin-ing thro' for you
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev-'ry trace of sadness,
Al -'tho a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time,
You must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worth-while,
If you just smile...
Epilogue: The Different Kind of Love Story
February is always associated with loving couple cuddling each other endlessly and wishing the night of February 14 would never end.
Leaders love their followers is another kind of love story. The employer loves her employees because the company sales is going up and this is another kind of love story. One thing I know is that the difference between playing to win and playing not to lose is the difference between success and mediocrity.
A leader can be successful if he has made the right change and thus get the smaller part of credits, but if things didn't worked out, would get the greater part of blame. Also goes the same way for the employers.
The love story that I am talking about here is the love story between you and your inner being. The main point is, you can not love someone unless you love yourself first. Neither a leader can be a leader when he or she is not leading himself or herself.
Let us start giving to ourself first before we start giving to others. And before February 14 comes, give yourself a break and share something to yourself too.
Leaders love their followers is another kind of love story. The employer loves her employees because the company sales is going up and this is another kind of love story. One thing I know is that the difference between playing to win and playing not to lose is the difference between success and mediocrity.
A leader can be successful if he has made the right change and thus get the smaller part of credits, but if things didn't worked out, would get the greater part of blame. Also goes the same way for the employers.
The love story that I am talking about here is the love story between you and your inner being. The main point is, you can not love someone unless you love yourself first. Neither a leader can be a leader when he or she is not leading himself or herself.
Let us start giving to ourself first before we start giving to others. And before February 14 comes, give yourself a break and share something to yourself too.
12.2.08
Tragic February Valentine Story
I have been mad about what happened to my love life. There is no greater sorrow for this husband his wife died in his arms during the Greek song that means "Love Me" is playing.
Kim Sjostrom died of heart disease.
Kim Sjostrom died of heart disease.
For me it was like any other celebrity weddings but not based on how expensive the wedding is but how the wedding had became a project at Davie Elementary School, where Sjostrom taught first grade. Friends provided the wedding gown, the flowers and decorations.
Isn't it sweet when your love ones and friends are there to help you with the wedding. Not just helping but providing you with some of the wedding things you needed.
The couple where dancing, when Kim complained of being lightheaded. Teddy, the husband, thought Kim, a diabetic, needed sugar. But she collapsed. The nearby hospital were unable to revive her.
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