Quote: "Your Sex Life is Boring."

I have been blogging for a year and a half now. I have been active with social networking sites. My daily routine would be waking up in the morning checking what happened in the last hours that I have been asleep. When I get to the office I still get online and check again and I would be online for all day long. When I get home I still do come online and check again. Some find it boring and a friend of mine describe my life by comparing it to sex. He said, "Your sex life is boring. If you were not laid last night you are contented with reading sex blogs." I was just like, "Wow! People from other country are really comfortable talking about sex especially with the opposite sex."

The diversity of people from different culture, from different homes, from different believes are meeting online to unintentionaly mention or discuss topics of who they are, how they are brought up and what they believe and etc.

I can be offended with that reaction from someone whom I did not meet personally but in my mind, it was my decision to be online, to create an online profile might as well be open to the fact that for others to say what they need to say and want to say for they thought it was not offensive or insulting. In the long run, I had a better appreciation towards others and how to care about others as well. I have noticed their wanting to be heard but not really insinuating that there response should be done or is correct. It was a simple reaction that needed to be heard. And I, as the one who heard it from him, needed to open my mind to a bigger thinking that life is not described as to what I want it to be. Life is not me but me with others whether online or offline.

It must be easy for my friend to describe my life in terms of "SEX" for one, he is a guy. Second, he must be comfortable with sex than anything else. And it must be the first thing that come out from his mind. Whatever are his reasons are, I should not take it as offensive or insulting. There are two things I do keep in mind that when you are online, you attract friends ,and second you attract enemies.

He made a last comment though because he knew I might be offended. He said, "I may have described it to sex, it does not mean that I am trying to imply that you should have sex because it is fun. No doubt sex is fun and sex is done by two responsible person."

It was pretty obvious that after describing it to sex he was immediately aware that he was not talking to someone like his kind. That he was talking to me. And I just blush.

I Try to Change Me

I had been busy lately. I can not deny that. My life was focused on to saving more so I can gain more. Practically you can see it like investing on a stock. You tend to watch how the stock works and the bullish and the bearish ways that a particular stock can be. Hoping it will always be bullish and would never experienced going down or bearish. The more it is going up the more you think of not stopping it because you are gaining more. Your full attention are at the Bloomberg Channel or the newspapers. You might be good at calculating and predicting what will happen like those in the stock market, you just do not stop.

I was focused to that. I was focused on a straight path to where I want to be and would like to be at in few months or days if possible. I delayed my happiness in the hope to be better at this part of my life. I just totally lost who I was before.

It is not a bad thing to be at. I mean it is part of growing and some things got to changed. But changes in me was drastic. I do not even know if I have missed one meeting with friends, am I answering all their SMS or calls to me, or was I giving them lame excuses. Even if I have time to see them, my body do not seem to be interested in seeing them anymore because I have worked too much and the days that are supposed to be for leisure was spent in bed trying to recover the lost hours of sleep.

My point here is that if I am neglecting my friendship with you or you think I was getting this huge head on top of me and I am blabbing things that you think was not the original me, I am sorry. I also would like to point out that I would really want to grow and part of growing is to change. But if you think I was not changing for the better, an email, or if you know my number, a call will always be an option for you to tell me that I am way too much and it is not healthy.

I admit to be changing a lot. I have let go of my smiling avatar and decided to seldom use my smiling pics because I would want others to see me serious this time. I think that was wrong for me to do because before when I used those smiling pictures it just gave me a reminder everyday that I have to refocus and rethink everything before uttering something or even deciding on things. When I see happy faces it always make me think twice like, am I going to do this to give everyone happiness or just me?

I do believe that whenever you do something you do not only think of what it can give to you but what it can give to others that surrounds you. But when I decided to change, I have pushed that idea away and now I have realized that it was wrong. I have got to change to something better.

Then again I am human and I make mistakes and it is not too late for me to change that. I only have to admit that I made mistake and hopefully learn from that mistake and move on. Always better to admit mistake than not to.

My Bling Bling

I spent too much for some people and I do not get to spend even for myself. I do not like that attitude but sad to say that attitude is my attitude. The good thing about it though is I do not get to spend my money for other people but only my family. I do deserve to buy my own stuff too with the money I am earning from work.

This is mine!!!

I wish there was something to make this go away or to erase what had happened.

I sat in front of my computer and a pop up appeared and say Jerry has a mail for me. I opened it up then I was shocked at what I have read. Brought me to tears, called my friend Daisy and I just could not held it for long I just have to cry.

Initial reaction, I was furious. I was so mad and my precious years of waiting was placed to nothing. No, it was nothing at all from the beginning and I never thought it that way for I was brought to believe he was for real.

I have decided to just let it be for I do not have any other good choice to make. I do not simply want to even think of revenge, although I can not deny that I really thought about it. I was devastated. I felt like the world turned against me and that everything is planned that this was truly the end.

I just can not allow that hurt to endure forever so I tried to forget about everything. I thought it was the right thing to do. I do not know about fate or something like that but I was glad I found him online again so I can talk to him and straight things up.

Then it started again. I was so naive, so dumb, so stupid for believing in him again. What hurts the most is that the 3 years with him was nothing, and I felt like he never really cared for he never showed any signs that he knew me at all or at least remember my birthday. For all those years he never memorized some important facts about me. I thought, my God, what did I do to deserve all these? What did I do to be in this? This has got to be over and I can no longer talk to him.

For awhile, I thought I was fine. Then reading and knowing something was another reminder that this was not over at all. Things are just beginning to unfold. Then one day, he came up to me saying, I could not hurt him so I go through hurting his family. I said, oh my fucking god! I did not do anything and I was accused of something? This was all fucking bullshit! He is with me for 3 years and he thought about me hurting a family. If I could have done that I could have done it a long time ago and not wait for that long to get even with him.

I was so mad. My head aches a lot after being told about that. I was not raised like that. I can not simply let that be. This is my integrity this is who I am and he would just say things like that without even knowing why it happened to him and not directly point out fingers of who is the suspect and especially thought about me as the suspect for he was with me for 3 long years.

I can not believe I fell in love with a person like him.

I have tried my best not to get connection with you. I do not want to ever communicate with you because you just made my life like a hell. I regret the day that I have met you. Do not ever assume that I am trying to hurt your family because I am not raised that way. If I am that kind of person then I could have done it a long time ago.

It is so sad that after all the loyalty and honesty that I gave you for 3 long years, you still do not know me at all. I do not want to think things nor assume but I have been pretty dumb all those 3 years because I did not know I was just for play time. I was just for fun. You led me to believe that this is you. That this is how you look.

I can not deny I have learned something from all of these. I do not want to let that learnings go. I do not want to be ever talking to you ever again. I had enough. I deserve better. Better than the lies that you gave.

I Support @MailOurMilitary

I support any organization that has a heart. I support everyone's main objectives are not for himself alone. I give support not because they are like my color. I give support not because I was forced to. I give support not because I was paid to do it.

2009 Objectives

I wanted to be a "Trainee" in anywhere of the US soil. The reason behind it is I would like to explore more avenues of building my career. I am single and workaholic. I am guessing that I am way to busy to even think of me settling down even if my batchmates are settling down.

I am currently busy with gathering all required papers and reviewing own training outline. I am hoping though that I can get this done and deal kind of thing. I was expecting some help from people I know but unfortunately I do not see any willingness to help me. I will still push this agenda and pray that I will get this.

There is no one to help me with this but only me. If ever someone will lend their hands I will gladly accept that.

I just want to raise the numbers so I can get out of this situation. They all expected something spectacular from me and I can not even run it when others are merely expecting and not helping. I can not get out of this because it is not the right time for this thing definitely needs help not just from me but ffrom everyone else involved in this.

My Motorcycle Accident

Walking down memory lane. I wandered off as I am sipping a hot coffee on a Sunday morning, staring at how beautiful the sun is that day.

I got into an accident last Saturday, October 11, 2008 at exactly 7:37 a.m. My Unlce has this motorcycle and he is going downtown, I thought I should hitch a ride. Placed my helmet on, my bag on my left shoulder and my iPod on my left hand while my right hand holds on to my Uncle's shoulder. We are turning right when suddenly this pick up truck turn right and the pick up truck is on the wrong lane. The driver turns the wheel to the right and make sure that he would not hit the car in front of him. When he steps on the gas it turns right and hit us. My Uncle had more scratches and bruises than I am.

It was not my typical Sunday morning because I just felt someone woke me up and whispered, "Wake up!". I knew I had to stand up and wander around the house. I washed my face and fix a cup of hot coffee then opened the door. Seeing sunshine with yellow, red, and orange colors, I thought somebody could have been dead yesterday. I feel pain, and I still feel the warmth of the ray of the sun, but I was glad I was not dead nor I had too many bruises or I end up in the hospital. I was glad I was not. I was glad it was just fever, bruises and body pains.

It was so weird because when my right side hits the street gutter, the first thing on my mind was my cellphone, my iPod and money. I never felt how it hurts so much to hit that gutter.

I will never know when I will die. I will never know when it is "Times up!" for me. I am scared thinking what if it was really that fatal? What if we were not running that slow?

What if I am dead?

(Picture courtesy of Picasa)

Who do you want to be this Halloween?

I know it is way to early to discuss about costumes for halloween. For me, I always love it when things are prepared. I know I have time so I might as well try to check on what I can be or what I can be wearing for halloween.

I can imagine kids going house to house and ask for candies. I have two nephews and I need a child halloween costumes. The halloween party will most likely be at school and to support my nephews I would need an adult halloween costumes for me and the two nannies.

I can be a witch even though kids really call me real witch for I am very strict. My nephews can be dwarfs or something. This is making me excited.

I will be in GENSAN for MBS2

I do not know whether I am still in or not but what the heck.

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City Mayor Pedro B. Acharon, Jr.
Congresswoman Darlene Antonino-Custodio
NOKIA
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Bariles Republic
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