Love Won't Lead You Back to Me

It has been 6 months since I last feel this pain in my heart. I thought keeping it in the closet and not digging it up helps but turns out that I am not completely healed by time yet. I have loved him and I still do. There's one thing I have learned so far though, my pain is enormous than the love I have felt for him. This pain is eating me inside out but I was able to contain the pain gradually and now I have never felt happier for my fear to deal with the pain is gone.

I know I always see him online because he's on my Skype list of friends. I have deleted my yahoo account and deleted his name on my Yahoo Messenger list. I don't know exactly how to contact him but I have decided one day to log in to Skype to see how it will all flow. He's there, online, and I said hi. I have noticed there was no anger in my words. I am happy it turned out very well.

Days had passed and I suddenly got a pop out and it was from him asking if we could be friends for life. I didn't know what he meant by that at first but as conversation goes on, he want me back. For a moment there I wanted to go back because I am happy but I can't possibly go back now. I can't be a moron again.

When he dumped me for some stupid idea of claiming others baby as their own just for the sake of getting more money is absurd. It is even more painful to think of what he just told me that he's not going to fight anymore. He said he was an asshole at that time and now that he got his brains back, he want me back.
Should I just let it go by me or should I not? I should not. Definitely not. Not because he told me he need me because he love me, I should go back to him. I got my pride. I have a pride that was swallowed because I know he needed some time, but to let 4 months pass by and I have never heard anything from him should be let go? I mean, I waited for months to hear him say, I need you back. He did not even remember my birthday.
There were a lot of lies. I have known that ever since, and no matter how many times I tried to make him tell me the truth he simply don't want to give an answer to my question, in which I just let it be. I love the person but I simply could not go on to this anymore. I am young and smart and I have moved on.

1 comment:

Aks said...

The pain is personal. Too personal. Not even for "them". And somehow, it refuses to go away completely.

I know.

Anyways, was a good decision to go back..

Good luck.

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